Dear Glee, You Make Me Sad

Show I don't think I can bring myself to watch again: Glee

It started with simple things; this season has been fraught with story lines that I do not care about at all (for starters), so I've mostly been tuning in for performances. Then, performances started getting lazy. There is no excuse for resting on your laurels, and I will lose my shit if I see Rachel Berry make another anguished face regardless of what she's singing about. But when performances got stale, the Puck/Original Elpheba storyline got kind of cute. Then she slept with him and I was like, well I could've done without that. You're a grown woman and I don't care if he is 18. You have a child to provide for and how are you supposed to do that when you lose your job for having an affair with a student. Tsk.

I will say, I've enjoyed the Brittany centric episodes. She's kind of a dingbat, but she's completely comfortable with who she is, and I love her singing voice. Other characters I wish they had given more screen time to: Mike Chang, Coach Beiste, and in particular Santana. And that's what I really want to talk about.

Her coming out episode, was awful.

I said it.

The entire episode is about other people telling her why she should come out, more importantly that she needs to, because it will make them feel better. They sing songs originally written and performed by women as if that's what finally makes a closeted homosexual realize that all of their fears and worries are ridiculous and everyone they know and love and admire will continue to see them the exact same way regardless of the secret they've finally found the strength to disclose. And maybe some have been moved by music, I don't doubt that for a second. But to be told that you have to come out? You are forcing a person out of the closet. You have staged an intervention. And while it might work for a drug addict to see how they're hurting the people they love, a homosexual is afraid that by being honest about who they are with the ones they love that it will drive them away, not heal the pain. The people "trying to help" are being selfish. They aren't doing this for her benefit. They're doing it for themselves. The entire episode is absurd.

And, to make it even more asinine and misogynistic, when Santana finally does come out to everyone, she sings Katy Perry's 'I Kissed a Girl.' Which isn't actually even about liking girls. It's about liking girls because it turns your boyfriend on.


Shame on you Glee. You have an audience that needs to know it's okay to come to things on your own terms. In your own time. In your own way. You need to hold yourself to a higher standard, or get off the air.


For more reference on Glee and their terrible handling of this story line and proof that I'm not alone on this (and for more feminist rants) see this enlightening article over at fempop. This woman knows what's up.

Home For the Holidays

Since we're coming up on the holidays I've been thinking a lot about family and how you show one another that you care. Growing up our family only saw our extended relatives, aunts cousins grandparents etc., at gatherings before Christmas Day itself. We would get together at my dad's parents early in the month, or sometimes we would actually wait until after Christmas to see my mom's side but we never did anything on the day itself. I remember a few times when we had family over for Thanksgiving but that didn't last long, for whatever reason. My main point here is that Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day were always the days where we just hung out at home as a family and didn't go anywhere or do anything. We called family or friends but we never had anywhere to be or anyone to dress up for. We had a semi-traditional meal on Thanksgiving, but I don't honestly remember if we always ate at the table and for Christmas dad would cut up a ham but we never had an actual meal planned. We would just sit around and veg all day. And I loved that.

Being in a relationship has seriously thrown a kink in that plan. Our first Christmas together I hated the idea that I had to leave the apartment. I was fine with going to my parents house but I would have rather waited a day to go to his parents because I just don't like that on a day when I've been practically trained to be lazy I have to be presentable and punctual. The first Thanksgiving was rough. There was no way I was ready to eat two meals like that in one day. But us going on four years together now (I think?) I'm used to the rushed scheduling.

Last year my parents decided to have Christmas on Christmas Eve. It worked out fantastically. We hung out, got a little drunk, took a nap, rallied, got a little drunk again, and laughed at presents. Then we went home and slept and the next day we went to his parents house. Perfect. For some reason, both years we had to do Thanksgiving on the day itself with his parents. Which I get works for everyone else because they have office jobs where Thanksgiving is a holiday where they don't make money. But I work in retail and we do make money on that day, and the day after. And I have to be there super early when we open. Why is it inconsiderate of me to say, hey sorry in-laws I can't make it because I came home from work at 2:45 this morning and I go back in at 8 tonight for 13 hours and I'd like to sleep a lot because I'll need the energy? But Jeremy brings my love. I like to assume that they would they understand.

So I decided that when we have kids, we're not doing anything for the holidays. We'll see family before or after but on the days itself, I don't want to leave the house. I see no reason to. Getting together on major holidays and birthdays does not make you a family, and taking pictures at that time doesn't show others that you're a family. Keeping in touch throughout the year, calling, texting, hanging out with no motives (like needing to ask your parents for money) or pretext, these things keep you close. Having a few days out of the year to catch up on each others lives seems like cheating at being family. Maybe I'm biased because of my upbringing but getting together to exchange gifts and have a good time doesn't automatically mean it's Christmas to me. It just means that this time everyone brought gifts.

Crap, I still haven't put up my tree!

More Things Going Wrong in Our Apartment

Our stove, for starters. It apparently only heats to 300 now, and at that it takes almost an hour for it to heat up. We finally got the drainage problem all fixed and now the stove is going to hell. That's not that big of a deal. It's probably just some internal crap and we'll end up with a new stove. Cool, whatever. But there's also the issue of our shower.

The cold water handle broke off today. So before when we had no hot water, and only cold, we now have no cold water and only hot. Which I suppose is better. I can take shorter showers and still be more clean than if I took longer ones. Because I'm basically boiling myself in there now. It's awesome, let me tell you.

So the new plan now (the previous one where we just toughed it out for a few more years until our student loan debt was a little more under way is completely ridiculous) is find a For Sale by Owner and get the fuck out. Like, now.

Being Lazy After a 13-hour Shift

A belated Happy Turkey Day to anyone who celebrated and didn't make a comment about the pilgrims raping the Indians of their land and property. We get it, it's a terrible holiday. Most of them are. Shut up now. (And stop making Zombie Jesus jokes at Easter. You're boring.)

So I got home from work this morning at sometime-between-8-and-9-am and as soon as I got to the living room and made sure the apartment door was shut, I immediately took off all my clothes. Ya know how normally I take off my pants? This morning I just stripped down and went straight into the bathroom to shower. There was no possible way I could go to bed feeling that gross and dirty.

I managed to sleep in some Thursday morning before the required visit to the in-laws but it was only till about 12:30. And I didn't get to nap at all. We went from his parents house to him dropping me off at work. I wasn't up a full 24 hours, thank Christ, but I was still exhausted. There seemed to be a miscommunication with my schedule, as usual, and as a result I had three very different schedules: the one emailed to me, the one on the calender in administration, and the individual one in the system. Two of them said I was scheduled to 7 am, one said 9 am, one said I should have been working 5pm-4:45am M-W. It was all a mess. But we slowed down, and the District Manager said I was doing a good job in replenishment so my manager let me go an hour early. Bless her heart.

I woke up at 2:55 this afternoon. It was awesome. Made no plans for the day except to see a movie with my brother and sister-in-law while they're in town so we can hang out a little before the belated holiday celebrations with our family tomorrow. So it should turn out to be a nice lazy night.

Conversations with My Husband

(Jeremy comes in at the end of Gossip Girl)

Jeremy: Who's that? She looks familiar.

Me: Blake Lively.

(Blank look on his face.)

Me: That name means nothing to you. Oh! Green Lantern.

Jeremy: (scoffs) Storm... that is not Ryan Reynolds.

Ho Ho Ho... Santa Snowman!

We're close enough to Thanksgiving that I feel comfortable putting out Christmas candy, and drinking out of my Christmas mug. Even if we weren't I would still do those things cause I woke up this afternoon, after getting home from work at about 4:50 this morning and sleeping for a while, with an obscene headache. It sincerely felt like my brain was crawling out of my face, or at least trying to.

I know I use this metaphor a lot, but it feels accurate and I need people to understand that when my sinuses act up, they also have a tendency to put me out of commission for hours. It's kind of how my mum described migraines, which I've never had the misfortune of dealing with. Not all the symptoms, just the mildly incapacitating parts. I never have light and/or sound sensitivity or nausea, but I do feel that if I move any part of my body my head will explode. Sometimes, it actually lessens the pain if I take my glasses off. I've had to ice my jaw on occasion because my sinuses are so swollen, and sometimes I can't chew so I have to be on a liquid diet until the weather decides to break or my sinuses kill me.

To make myself feel less invalid like I wrap up in a big comfy blanket on the couch and watch TV, whilst occasionally venturing out into the kitchen for more food-that-makes-me-fat. So instead of invalid, I go for fat lazy bitch chilling at home eating bon-bons. Which I guess is a ... trade... of some kind.

Anyway, I wanted to mention the Christmas mug cause it's the one my sister-in-law (the one responsible for the title of this blog post) and my brother gave me for Christmas two years ago. With a big ole basket of teas. I hardly ever use the mug though cause it's all winter-y but since I'm not feeling peachy keen today, and it is almost Thanksgiving (which is the time of year I can start decorating for Christmas and using Christmas things) I figured today was the perfect day for the Moose, Bear, Log Cabin Mug. And it's enormous. Half my coffee pot fits in there. Hang on, I'll try that again: I heat my water in my coffee pot, cause my kettle broke and I still haven't replaced it, and this mug took almost 6 cups to fill up. Well, more like 4 now that I look again but still, that's a big mug for tea drinking. And tea drinking, I am doing.

High Anxiety

Last night at work, I was climbing like a 15' ladder and I was right next to some light fixtures (that I personally have always thought were too low) whilst hanging some clothes on an end panel and while up there I glanced over my shoulder for some reason, and I actually got light headed (and almost had a panic attack) cause I felt like I was falling backwards.

I don't have a fear of heights, vertigo, and I'm not normally prone to panic attacks or anxiety. So I'm going to chalk it up to it being so damn hot in that store to being with, and having 90 watt light bulbs literally inches from me.

The rest of my evening was spent wondering how inappropriate it would be to wear a two-piece to work, trying to stay away of from the damn lights, and sweating like a man. Oh, and organizing boots. Always with the boots. Once October rolls around the boots start pouring in. And they keep coming until March, when we start getting flip flops instead. It makes me hate footwear.

- Working there kinda makes me hate all things all things related to clothing and covering the body. When I get home from work, I take off my shoes first, and I almost always follow that with taking off my pants. And sometimes my shirt. And socks. Occasionally I'll put on a robe, but most often I desperately need to shower and take a nap, cause it's like working out but for 5-9 hours straight. Just climbing, and bending, and lifting, and sweating. And I'm supposed to look decent while doing this so I'm wearing nice clothes, or jeans and a button up, or khakis. We're not even supposed to wear shoes with a rubber sole, but I say eff that and wear my sneakers anyway. So when I get out of there, my clothes are covered in sweat and I hate everything that I'm wearing and I never want to wear it again so when I get home of course my first reaction is to take off all my clothes. I can't tell if it's worse or better in the cold months, cause when I leave work at least it's a little refreshing to walk out into cool air and not a 90+ scorcher. All I know is I wish I could work from home. This way when I work out, I only have to do an hour of it and I can wear whatever clothes I want. Instead of doing squats in jeans. -