Conversations with My Husband...

... while waiting to see if I have breast cancer.

(It's cool, I'm fine. Doctor says it's just an inflamed-lymph-node-lump, and not a terrifying we'll-have-to-take-the-breast lump.)

*in the waiting room, forever*
Jeremy: What time was the appointment?
Me: 11:15
Jeremy: And what time is it now?
Me: Later than 11:15
(by like, over an hour)


*finally in a room*
Nurse: We only have one ultrasound machine and it's in the other room so it'll be just another few minutes. (leaves)
Jeremy: Another few minutes? I don't know how time works in here but in the real world, that wait was longer than a few minutes. By about, seventy-five.
Me: There's a diagram of your intestines in here.
Jeremy: ...Man, that's a lot of diseases. That's one effed up person.
Me: I don't think it's an actual image.
Jeremy: It is.
Me: Are you sure?
Jeremy: Yes. And that person needs help. We should find him.

*later, still in the first room*
Me: I can't remember the actor who played Spengler.
Jeremy: Harold Ramis.
Me: Harold Ramis, thank you.

*in the ultrasound room*
Me: (after putting on the gown, backwards like a vest, as per the nurse's instructions) This could be a good look for me.
Jeremy: Yeah especially with your clunky winter boots.
Me: It's the winter version.