So nobody needs to know about this stuff. When women are on their periods, they shouldn't talk about it. Keep that to yourself. Nobody cares. And it's kinda gross.
HOWEVER, I had an awesome experience today. I ran out of tampons, so I had to run to the drugstore and I hadn't eaten breakfast yet. So I'm hungry and on my period.
I bought like, the biggest box of tampons possible, if I could have found it in bulk I probably would have bought that. Cause I felt like I was going to bleed to death. But I didn't...well, haven't yet. Gah wouldn't that be horrifying.
Anyway, I have this enormous box of tampons that I pretty much have to use two hands to carry and makes me feel like I'm some kind of animal, bleeding out like a 6'5" behemoth with large bone structure, and I think, naturally, 'man chocolate would be fucking sweet right now.'
So I grab some chocolate milk, and a Yoohoo (which reminds me, Yoohoo is made by God) and I go to check out. The cashier eyes my items and as she scans them she says, 'Would, you like sooommme... chocolate? They're two for two dollars?'
And of course I was like, fuck yes I would like some two for two chocolate. And I ravenously grab a bunch of Hershey Drops and shit.
Moral of the story: do not shop where there is food when you're hungry and on your period.
Also, Hershey Drops are both delicious and adorable.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Wedding Nonsense
I may have discovered the depths of my laziness the other day while my dad and I were discussing wedding plans. My parents have a big backyard and I'm basically a hippie so I thought 'let's get married at my parents house!' which Jeremy agreed to pretty much because it meant we wouldn't have to look at other venues.
Now before I go further my dad offered us a very large sum of money for our wedding, towards our honeymoon, as a down payment on a house, however we wanted to use it basically. Which was wonderful cause we're both pretty poor. (And not in that 'happy but poor' way, just poor and and putting up with each other.)
So we decided to it would be great if we kinda just let the wedding thing fall to the side, I mean get married but not really do a ceremony or anything, and just have a fucking sweet honeymoon. (So we're going to Wales in July.) But then the more we talked about marriage related things the more input we had from family and the more guilt they made us feel for not wanting to do anything.
I'm sorry, mom and dad, if I'm against paying for seating, food, drinks, and having to call hotels to set aside rooms for relatives that I haven't seen in literally over a decade or more and especially relatives that I've never even met.
To make matters more irritating, I never thought about my wedding when I was kid. My barbies never had ceremonies, my friends and I never played dress-up and one of us was the bride or groom or whatever, I just never considered it. Marriage was never a moment in my life that I imagined. Family and commitment was always very important to me (and it still is) but I didn't see why I had to change to my last name. (And that issue is for another post.)
So planning a wedding was a huge, annoying, irritating, aggravating, issue for me. And of course Jeremy was no help. Which is bullshit cause he's the one who proposed. He should have some GD input!
Fortunately the whole problem may have been solved this past weekend while at my parents house talking with my dad. He said after the very large sum of money he gives us, he's not doing anything else. He'll show up, well-dressed and not at all resembling an individual who just came down from the mountains concealing a jug of moonshine somewhere about his person, and he'll walk me down the aisle, dance with me, etc. but other than that he's done.
I said, 'dad, what on earth does that mean?'
To which he replied, with the answer to all of my wedding problems, 'I'm not cleaning out the yard, or setting up any tables, or finding room for people to park. I'm not doing any of that.'
And I went, 'Oh. Okay.'
I don't want to do that either. So I think we'll just go downtown to the courthouse and send our families wedding announcements instead of invitations. I am way to lazy to do all that stuff. I have better things to do.
Which probably makes me a horrible person, but Jeremy also said he doesn't want to do any of that. So two horrible people are marrying each other. You're welcome, world.
Now before I go further my dad offered us a very large sum of money for our wedding, towards our honeymoon, as a down payment on a house, however we wanted to use it basically. Which was wonderful cause we're both pretty poor. (And not in that 'happy but poor' way, just poor and and putting up with each other.)
So we decided to it would be great if we kinda just let the wedding thing fall to the side, I mean get married but not really do a ceremony or anything, and just have a fucking sweet honeymoon. (So we're going to Wales in July.) But then the more we talked about marriage related things the more input we had from family and the more guilt they made us feel for not wanting to do anything.
I'm sorry, mom and dad, if I'm against paying for seating, food, drinks, and having to call hotels to set aside rooms for relatives that I haven't seen in literally over a decade or more and especially relatives that I've never even met.
To make matters more irritating, I never thought about my wedding when I was kid. My barbies never had ceremonies, my friends and I never played dress-up and one of us was the bride or groom or whatever, I just never considered it. Marriage was never a moment in my life that I imagined. Family and commitment was always very important to me (and it still is) but I didn't see why I had to change to my last name. (And that issue is for another post.)
So planning a wedding was a huge, annoying, irritating, aggravating, issue for me. And of course Jeremy was no help. Which is bullshit cause he's the one who proposed. He should have some GD input!
Fortunately the whole problem may have been solved this past weekend while at my parents house talking with my dad. He said after the very large sum of money he gives us, he's not doing anything else. He'll show up, well-dressed and not at all resembling an individual who just came down from the mountains concealing a jug of moonshine somewhere about his person, and he'll walk me down the aisle, dance with me, etc. but other than that he's done.
I said, 'dad, what on earth does that mean?'
To which he replied, with the answer to all of my wedding problems, 'I'm not cleaning out the yard, or setting up any tables, or finding room for people to park. I'm not doing any of that.'
And I went, 'Oh. Okay.'
I don't want to do that either. So I think we'll just go downtown to the courthouse and send our families wedding announcements instead of invitations. I am way to lazy to do all that stuff. I have better things to do.
Which probably makes me a horrible person, but Jeremy also said he doesn't want to do any of that. So two horrible people are marrying each other. You're welcome, world.
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