Don't interrupt me when I'm trying to ignore you.

I've reached the level of apathy in my life regarding the human race that sometimes startles me. You know the one. You're sitting out somewhere, maybe on break at work, or outside enjoying the weather, and you have a book in front of you. Or a cell phone, magazine, something that can hold your interest. And someone sits down near you, or they come outside and to where you are, for some reason. You don't say anything to them. They remain there awkwardly for a moment. You think you'll be able to enjoy your book, or text conversation, catching up on trashy celebrity gossip, etc.

And then they start talking to you.

And you don't look at them.

So they keep talking.

You can hear everything that they're saying. You are completely disinterested.

And they keep talking.

Now you're pretending you're reading but you're actually not because you're so pissed off that this person is talking to you when you are clearly not talking to them, but they keep talking anyway, and you can't join the conversation now because you've come too far, and that's even if you wanted to. Which you absolutely do not. You would much rather this annoying god-forsaken individual just shut their damn mouths because you were having a perfectly good time just sitting by yourself and doing whatever the hell you were doing before they arrived needing attention like a starved child. Really though they need a good smack in the face.

If I'm reading, do not talk to me. I can hear you perfectly fine. I am never so engrossed in something, book movie, music, piece of art, sandwich, that my brain loses the ability to utilize my other senses. I know you're fucking there, and I know you're fucking talking to me. I do not care. But what you have to say is so monumentally uninteresting that I have to resort to pretending I can't hear you.

Sometimes, I'll have my head phones in at work or on a trip. My music is never so loud that I can't hear the conversation around me. What if something important is happening? I like to be aware at all times. Sometimes, my music isn't even playing. There is literally no sound coming from head phones. But I just know someone is going to try to talk to me and maybe that conversation or person will be interesting, in which case I take out an ear phone. This is generally the best indicator that I am now ready to converse with you.

Most times, I will leave in the ear phone, and I will stare blankly out of the window, or at something that isn't the person talking to me. This is also an exceptional indication that I do not want to converse with you. Take note. Do not, instead, continue speaking to me.

It makes me want to choke you.

Things That Have Been Happening

1. Jeremy's been teaching me to shoot. We went to a firing range a few weeks ago and then Saturday night at my parents we set up a redneck range, consisting of Christmas Styrofoam cups on a log on a low table with some cardboard taped up to the fence behind it so I could see where my shots were going, and using his Airsoft guns. Jeremy says I have good grouping but I still need to work on actually hitting the target. Although I have done it a few times.

2. Supposedly they're training me at work to move into a position that isn't available yet and won't be until the current employee leaves. Which could be in a month, or it could be next year. I don't want the position, and they haven't told me whether there's a pay increase (not including the fact that I'll be getting more hours so in a way it's an increase), but we need the money and I don't have anything else on the horizon. I would still need a second and possibly third job though, like now. Cause I wouldn't make what I need to be making to pay off my loans in five years. I don't want us trying to have a baby while still neck-deep in loans and renting a crappy apartment. I'd like to have made some headway.

3. We did some end of summer cleaning and cleared out just an ass load of clothing. I keep debating on whether to just give it to Goodwill or to try and re-sell it on the internet. Some of it is just crap, shirts with holes, shirts with stains, pants that have worn away in the thigh, etc. but I don't really think it'll be worth my time. I think I'll just end up spending more on shipping total than I'll make. I don't want to break even, especially cause I actually don't have any money right now.

4. Amazon's wish list and suggestions is slowly draining my life. I got on there the other day, looking for a cheap dress cause I like browsing, and then I found something I liked and I added it to my wishlist until I get paid again. Then of course Amazon was like, 'I see that you're into this dress, here's what other people are into. Take a look.' I ended up killing two hours on there, just adding shit to my wish list. There are six pages of shit I don't need but I fully expect people, or myself, to buy it all for me. Especially the books. Some of the books I didn't even read the description on, I just liked the title and there was a convenient little button underneath that said 'Add to Wishlist' and I was like, 'um, absolutely.' Stupid Amazon.

5. I recently heard that I have three months to get Thank You cards out in the mail after the reception. Is this true? Cause I've been stressing about it. First I couldn't find my paper with all the addresses on it. Then I couldn't figure out if I should write the same generic thank you in each card or if I should personalize them. Once I wrote the cards I still had to track down Jeremy and have him sign them. And now that I have them all made out, and the paper with the addresses on it, I still need Jeremy to sign them. And again, cause I'm broke I don't have stamps. I had to use a stamp from mum to mail our rent check. There's something incredibly sad about that.