Okay so, this house we were thinking of maybe possibly investing in, it was terrifying. Not in that, spooky haunted house way. More in that, sweet Lord how you can let a young couple starting out show interest in this house without trying to talk them out of? Have you no shame?
Let's start with the roof. The work that needs done is minimal, no more than a four feet radius. But it is substantial. And that is going to lead me directly to something else which I need to wait on. Cause before that, there's the stairs to the "second floor." It's a cape cod. We're not fooling anyone here with this second floor BS. It's an attic. The ceilings are creepy and angled weird, there are essentially no closets but some roomy cubbies that look like they would meet in the middle but they certainly don't, which is surprisingly more disconcerting than if they actually did. The carpet has been pulled up in this space, like the rest of the house, but not to reveal a nice wood floor. Or even a crappy wood floor. Instead, there is kitchen tiling on the floor. Seriously. And then they carpeted over it. Cause I guess that's the thing to do? I don't know.
Oh! There's also a door up there. It opens up to the garage roof. Which is something you do with cape cods cause the house next door is also a cape cod and has a door that opens up to the garage roof. That part was kinda cool but we'd have to put up a railing on the roof to have a sweet balcony.
None of that can happen until the stairs are fixed. Every step is cracked right along the middle. All the way up. And the railing is garbage too. The stairs look like a small child assembled them. Without support in the middle. Just notched some large wood and slid some smaller wood in the notches. Cause that's how you make stairs when you want someone to fall and die.
There were some sweet pocket doors, and a huge picture window in the living room. The kitchen was a lot bigger than ours currently and it opens up right to the living room, there's no wall between the rooms. We liked that. We didn't like the foyer. Which is located right beneath where the roof needs work. I'm going somewhere with this.
Mold.
Mold, all the hell over the place. And deep in the plaster too. It was barely on the surface but once you spotted it you could trace the swollen and cracking plaster all over that damn foyer. It was kinda gross.
There's a breezeway from the garage to the house. They put in a drop ceiling, for some ungodly reason. Also, swollen with mold. Literally swollen with mold. I was worried if we stayed too long the tiles would burst and we'd be enveloped in noxious, poisonous... ya know, mold.
Then in the basement, which does not leak, somehow, there's this awful damp smell. It's thick down there, I'm telling you. We assume it's the mold behind the wood paneling. Which is a shame cause it's a nice basement.
The whole house is actually very lovely. Except there is way too much mold and carpet staples and kitchen tile in bedrooms and poorly covered roof and death stairs for the place to worth the investment. We would easily need a minimum of six grand up front just to cover rent on both places (cause it would take at least a month to get that place together) and all the minor things we'd need to get it in living condition. And I would definitely want a home inspection done, or whatever I would need to check how severe the mold damage is. It was also need reappraised cause the property tax is crazy high for that area. It's twice what my parents pay and they have a two story with three times as much land.
I don't honestly know how property tax works though. I should check that out.
I have to finish up thank you's cause it's been almost three weeks since people gave us money and stuff for getting married. We should married more often. It wasn't a bad haul.
