Broken Locks and Ladders (Instead of Shoots and Ladders... Get It?)

Today at work something terrific happened. A customer moved one of the employee ladders, unchained it, and climbed on up to look for a pair of shoes out of her reach. We weren't busy, there were maybe three customers in the store, including herself, and roughly four associates, none of us overly busy, and none of us intentionally not acknowledging her. I heard the ladder moving and assumed it was an associate but then I looked over and the woman clearly did not resemble any of the employees currently on the floor. So I went over.

Me: Excuse me, while you're up there can you get a size down for me?
Her: Oh, I don't work here.
Me: In that case, can  you please get off the employee ladder?


It's one thing if stores frequently leave ladders about the place for customers to just mosey on up, but as far as I know, no store actually does that. The damn thing had the CAUTION EMPLOYEE ONLY sign chained across the front. She had to unchain it to use it. AND take the brake off. I feel like she's done this before. And I also feel that the unborn fetus she was carrying in her enormous preggo belly is going to be just as ditzy as her. God help us.

After work I went to lunch with mom and Kage, and afterwards I was going to stop at home to let the dog out and then go over to moms to hang out while her millions of poodles were groomed. But then I got home and the doorknob that's been giving us trouble for like, the past since-we've-started-using-it, said 'fuck it' and totally broke. I could unlock the door, turn the handle, but the door wouldn't open. The part that goes in and out, wasn't going out. It was just staying in. So I called mom and she came back and then I discovered that I had locked all of the windows that I can reach from the outside, because I'm super paranoid about people breaking into my apartment (we live on the first floor). Window I cannot reach? Bathroom.

You know where this is going.

I had mom pull her Jeep up the little hill on the side of our house so the hood was directly underneath the window and I climbed up and then went on through the bathroom window. Naturally before I did, I sang about it. You know the words.

Don't pretend you would have done any differently.

I'm just really disappointed that we didn't take pictures or video. I'm more than happy to do it again though, cause I like doing stuff like that. I like knowing what I'm capable of if I ever need to be capable of it. For example, my quick thinking told me that I had no ladder and no one was tall enough to boost me up so let's use the hood of the Jeep.

My quick thinking did not remind me that I still need to buy a ladder. Those things come in handy when you least expect them to.

Previously on: My Life

I hate when awful things happen to people I usually talk to about random things, because then I don't know how to talk to them again. Bad things have been going on and I feel obligated to only speak to them about those things, which is terrible because then it's a constant reminder of those bad things. But I feel like it would be pretty shitty of me to just be like, 'Hey you should check out Prometheus, here's why' or 'This chick at work doesn't know how to walk in flip-flops, they are like literally slapping the ground. They should call them slap-shoes.' Instead I just don't talk to them for awhile. Which is also pretty shitty. In fact it's probably worse cause we're friends, and friends don't just cut you out of their lives until a respectable time has passed for you to deal with things. I'm a terrible person.

I don't know if I mentioned that we finally got a washer and dryer, but we did. It's been awesome, except they're older models so I'm worried something's going to break soon. So far so good though. They're small so I keep having to do like four loads, or turn the dryer back on for another cycle. That parts irritating, but I guess I'll just have to get used to it.

Jeremy and I watched all of Community over the last two weeks, and I liked it so much (apparently) that on my days off I've been re-watching it. Seriously. I focus on Jeff-Annie centric episodes sometimes, cause damn it I need them to happen! Relationships like theirs, I always need them to develop. I don't care for the will they-won't they crap, that is not interesting to me at all. Castle and Becket? Them finally getting together this season did not please me. I wanted a little joke/reveal thrown in somewhere about how they've been dating for awhile but they just don't talk about it or something. They can still banter and be adorable and have the same dynamic if they're dating. I don't understand why they couldn't or how things would really change. I just don't see the problem. The reason I want Jeff and Annie to work out though is cause Jeff kind of reminds me of Jeremy: sarcastic, kinda pretentious, bit of an ass, but he has these really good, commendable qualities that he doesn't let a lot of people see and Annie's this sweet, intelligent woman who can bring out those qualities and make him feel like he's not a pussy for being a good guy. Plus, Alison Brie and Joel McHale have terrific chemistry, and their height difference is adorable.

Back to the washer and dryer, I am not excited for our water and electric bill to blow up. Being an adult sucks that way.

Hulu has been advertising Green Acres, the complete series. So... my next few weeks are going to be kinda busy you guys. I know you're all disappointed.

Also, Prometheus was actually pretty good. But then  I also thought Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter was awesome, so I don't know that my judgement can be trusted. And I still listen to The Backstreet Boys when I want to clean. (Their music always made me want to clean. It's a weird subliminal thing, I'm sure of it. That and move furniture. Jive Records man.)