High Anxiety

Last night at work, I was climbing like a 15' ladder and I was right next to some light fixtures (that I personally have always thought were too low) whilst hanging some clothes on an end panel and while up there I glanced over my shoulder for some reason, and I actually got light headed (and almost had a panic attack) cause I felt like I was falling backwards.

I don't have a fear of heights, vertigo, and I'm not normally prone to panic attacks or anxiety. So I'm going to chalk it up to it being so damn hot in that store to being with, and having 90 watt light bulbs literally inches from me.

The rest of my evening was spent wondering how inappropriate it would be to wear a two-piece to work, trying to stay away of from the damn lights, and sweating like a man. Oh, and organizing boots. Always with the boots. Once October rolls around the boots start pouring in. And they keep coming until March, when we start getting flip flops instead. It makes me hate footwear.

- Working there kinda makes me hate all things all things related to clothing and covering the body. When I get home from work, I take off my shoes first, and I almost always follow that with taking off my pants. And sometimes my shirt. And socks. Occasionally I'll put on a robe, but most often I desperately need to shower and take a nap, cause it's like working out but for 5-9 hours straight. Just climbing, and bending, and lifting, and sweating. And I'm supposed to look decent while doing this so I'm wearing nice clothes, or jeans and a button up, or khakis. We're not even supposed to wear shoes with a rubber sole, but I say eff that and wear my sneakers anyway. So when I get out of there, my clothes are covered in sweat and I hate everything that I'm wearing and I never want to wear it again so when I get home of course my first reaction is to take off all my clothes. I can't tell if it's worse or better in the cold months, cause when I leave work at least it's a little refreshing to walk out into cool air and not a 90+ scorcher. All I know is I wish I could work from home. This way when I work out, I only have to do an hour of it and I can wear whatever clothes I want. Instead of doing squats in jeans. -