Work-Related Musings

The days when I'm trying to find ways to fill time are the worst. I'm not accustomed to down time at work. My previous experience has been that of 'if you have time to lean, you have to clean.' (Thanks, McDonald's) All this trying to look busy nonsense is driving me nuts. I keep stressing out. My conditioning and work ethic are not inclined to this atmosphere.

Tasks I found myself doing yesterday and today to fill time:

• wiped down my area of the countertop (twice)
• emptied out the pencil sharpener
• sharpened pencils (in that order)
• organized the little desk caddy next to the computer (with pens and paperclips and an obscene amount of rubber bands), then I found more rubber bands in the bottom of the pen holder portion that were black with ink (which was gross and neat)
• walked to the interior bookdrop upwards of 20 times to see if any books had come in since I last checked
• made a rubber band ball

Pretty sure when the clerks are on desk and there aren't any patrons, they're either compulsively checking their emails or they're looking up records. Like, of books. That's what it always looks like they're doing. Refreshing their email or looking at records. Personally, to look busy, sometimes I'm just looking at my own record. 'Oh yes, I do still have the same items checked out as when I looked five minutes ago.' I do it cause I forgot my email password. I'd ask someone what it's supposed to be but I don't want to look stupid. So I just check it home, where my browser kindly asked if I wanted the password saved. I should not have said yes. Apparently we're changing servers so I may have to address the issue soon.

Found a rusted and horrific looking X-acto  knife mixed in with the pens where the money is counted. I guess it gets rough in that area of the 'behind the front desk.'

A boy scout troop had a meeting the other night. They played a DVD. There was applause. I wonder what the merit badge for 'watched a DVD in a group setting' looks like.

Apparently, after six, it's totally cool to just straight up read a book while on desk. I can't tell if this place is amazing or just gives no fucks.

Yeah Work!

I saw my pregnant sister today. You guys, she is so fuckin' cute. Oh my god. I want to hang out with her all the time and have many pictures taken so that when I see other knocked chicks who are not taking to pregnancy well, I can give them a picture and be like, 'this is how you're supposed to do it, get it together.' Not even kidding, she's adorable. I'm so excited for a few weeks after the baby's born when it's super cute and not all weird-faced like newborns can be. The best part about that sentence is that everyone in our family agrees with it.

You guys, my new job, is the best thing ever. I could only be happier making a living if I were getting paid to write. As it is, if I could do this for the next twenty years I seriously don't think I would get tired or frustrated with it at all. Of course it's easy to say that now when I've only worked two days and I haven't started checking books in and out to patrons. I spent four hours today just scanning books in and putting them on the hold shelf. It was effing terrific. Yesterday I spent three hours shelving books. It was quiet. It was organized. I couldn't stop grinning. Not like a maniac though, just to myself. I love dressing nice for work and it being practical. I actually kinda like some of the people I work with. I love going to work.

We're rewatching The West Wing. I love Aaron Sorkin.

This post is filled with so much love.

Back to the work thing for a minute more. When I was busy freaking out about my first day apparently my friends and loved ones were all about being awesome and supportive. I got texts and facebook messages and my grams called and left a voicemail. Ashley reminded me to pack a lunch. Mom and dad called me 'library lady' cause I kept yelling at dad for calling me a librarian (which I am not). So... everyone is amazing. I'm full of love. This is terrific.

Things That Piss Me Off (part like, a hundred)

When I'm reading a book (I have a lot of peeves regarding me and books) don't ask me what I'm reading. I don't have my book with me in the hopes that you'll comment on it. I have my book with me because I want to fucking read it. When you ask me what I'm reading, I have to either show you the cover, or actually tell you. The fact that I have to do either of those things infuriates me. Here are my reasons why:

If I show or tell you and then continue to read it, you will either say something like "oh I've never heard of it", "oh cool, is it any good?", "I don't know that author" or my least favorite question ever: "what's it about?" When you do this, I am left with no choice but to engage in conversation with you. This conversation will in no way be entertaining, intelligent, insightful, or enjoyable for me whatsoever. You have already presented me with more than enough facts for me to determine that you're a fucking idiot. When a person has something in front of them that can command their attention, and they are allowing it to, this generally means they do not want their attention diverted. By asking stupid questions, "what's it about?", you are diverting their attention. If that book was a person that I was in discussion with, and you waltzed up and just started asking me what we were talking about without politely interrupting and excusing yourself for doing so, both the individual I was speaking to and myself would consider you rude, impertinent, and impolite. Also, a douche.

Don't be a douche.

If I do answer your question and you are familiar with the book, there is no need for you to say anything else. Because, again, I am not looking to have a conversation with you. If you do feel the need to further comment, please always bear in mind that from that point on I am killing you in my head. Slowly. Every word you say is another drop of water on your forehead, another electric shock, another bamboo shoot under your nails. If you ever say the words "I approve" I immediately lose all respect for you as a human being, and my perception of your intelligence goes from wherever it may be at this point in our relationship straight down to zero. In fact, everything you've done to garner favor in my book, whether you're aware of it or not, vanishes. Just, fucking, vanishes. You must begin again. You must start slowly. (That, is a literary reference. It is paraphrased, so I have chosen not to use quotation marks.)

I will direct you to a previous paragraph, in fact the first paragraph, and to a sentence, the second sentence to be precise, and the end of that sentence, to be very precise: "in the hopes that you'll comment on it." I feel like I really need to drive this home. The fact that you approve of the book I am reading is literally worthless to me. You're opinion, of my taste in literature, has. No. Worth to me.

Here are my answers to your stupid fucking questions that I don't care to answer. Please commit them to memory so that in future, we will not have to have this completely pointless and useless waste of my goddamn time:

You: Oh I've never heard of it.
Me: (noncommittal grunt)

You: Oh cool, is it any good?
Me: (noncommittal grunt)

You: I don't know that author.
Me: (noncommittal grunt)

You: What's it about?
Me: (noncommittal grunt)

Do you see a pattern emerging?

If there is a book present, that book is always more important to me than you.


I'm a very angry person.

See how much more majestic this is than you? Remember that.  This is the Trinity College Library, motherfucker. And it is not fucking around.

Things Learned

My body is pear-shaped.

Cranberry juice is delicious.

I am a feminist.

Rooms with books in them don't smell the same in winter as they do in summer, or in spring as they do in autumn.

When you cover furniture with sheets, it makes the room look way smaller. (If you're trying to minimize space, cause I guess some people might.)

I should have far more responsibility at work but I don't, and that's my fault cause when it was first offered to me I backed away like a scared kitten, howling and mewling for my very life.

I totally want to raise a child. Like, totally. Teach him/her stuff that people don't teach anymore, like how to make a crane out of the paper that some napkins come wrapped in at restaurants. Or how to make a bubble from gum without it popping so you can put Pixie Stix powder in the hollow. Ya know, important stuff.

I don't care how old I am, young adult novels will always be interesting to me.

I own enough spoons to serve a party of nearly two-dozen, but only enough forks for a party of ten. So... soup party.

My dog is well-conditioned. She took off out of the house today because I forgot to close the door all the way, and when I finally chased her down it occurred to me that she was walking/running the same path we take when we go for walks. She even cut that one corner the same. If I hadn't worked up such a dude-sweat I would've been way more impressed. I'm impressed now, but at the time... super pissed off.

Things That Have Been Happening

1. Jeremy's been teaching me to shoot. We went to a firing range a few weeks ago and then Saturday night at my parents we set up a redneck range, consisting of Christmas Styrofoam cups on a log on a low table with some cardboard taped up to the fence behind it so I could see where my shots were going, and using his Airsoft guns. Jeremy says I have good grouping but I still need to work on actually hitting the target. Although I have done it a few times.

2. Supposedly they're training me at work to move into a position that isn't available yet and won't be until the current employee leaves. Which could be in a month, or it could be next year. I don't want the position, and they haven't told me whether there's a pay increase (not including the fact that I'll be getting more hours so in a way it's an increase), but we need the money and I don't have anything else on the horizon. I would still need a second and possibly third job though, like now. Cause I wouldn't make what I need to be making to pay off my loans in five years. I don't want us trying to have a baby while still neck-deep in loans and renting a crappy apartment. I'd like to have made some headway.

3. We did some end of summer cleaning and cleared out just an ass load of clothing. I keep debating on whether to just give it to Goodwill or to try and re-sell it on the internet. Some of it is just crap, shirts with holes, shirts with stains, pants that have worn away in the thigh, etc. but I don't really think it'll be worth my time. I think I'll just end up spending more on shipping total than I'll make. I don't want to break even, especially cause I actually don't have any money right now.

4. Amazon's wish list and suggestions is slowly draining my life. I got on there the other day, looking for a cheap dress cause I like browsing, and then I found something I liked and I added it to my wishlist until I get paid again. Then of course Amazon was like, 'I see that you're into this dress, here's what other people are into. Take a look.' I ended up killing two hours on there, just adding shit to my wish list. There are six pages of shit I don't need but I fully expect people, or myself, to buy it all for me. Especially the books. Some of the books I didn't even read the description on, I just liked the title and there was a convenient little button underneath that said 'Add to Wishlist' and I was like, 'um, absolutely.' Stupid Amazon.

5. I recently heard that I have three months to get Thank You cards out in the mail after the reception. Is this true? Cause I've been stressing about it. First I couldn't find my paper with all the addresses on it. Then I couldn't figure out if I should write the same generic thank you in each card or if I should personalize them. Once I wrote the cards I still had to track down Jeremy and have him sign them. And now that I have them all made out, and the paper with the addresses on it, I still need Jeremy to sign them. And again, cause I'm broke I don't have stamps. I had to use a stamp from mum to mail our rent check. There's something incredibly sad about that.