Sundry and Pointless Lists to Fill Time

Names Of Nail Polishes I've Mixed Together From Other Nail Polishes

• And the Day Returns Too Soon
• A Beautiful Little Fool
• But a Mermaid Has No Tears
• Flowers and Electric Shocks
• Tarry Town
• To Die Upon a Kiss
• You Have Your Mother's Eyes

Not in order.

Titles of Short Stories I've Begun But Never Finished (in the last 3-4 years)

• The Archer
• The Argus Initiative
• At the Pallidin
• Bottles of Dark Liquid
• Dark Universe
• Dead Poet
• Land
• Longhand
• Mad-Cap Time Traveler!
• The Oblivion Text
• Pale
• Tattoo
• Thou Art a Villain
• Warrior

Things I Distinctly Recall Wanting to Be When I Grew Up

• Teacher
• In a girl band
• Novelist
• Poet
• Librarian
• Detective
• Theatre Manager
• Interior Decorator
• Fashion Designer
• Songwriter (for the girl band)
• Professional Tea Taster (that was brief and when I first discovered Earl Grey, also I don't think it's a thing)
• Ballerina

Various Colors My Hair Has Been

• Auburn
• Black
• Blonde
• Blue
• Orange
• Pink
• Red
• Very Red
• Yellow

In an attempt to darken the very light blonde it had been I forgot about all the blue and it turned this color.

Books I'm Currently Reading

• Cloud Atlas
• The Edinburgh Dead
• Expedition to The Mountains of The Moon
• The Falling Machine
• The Last Days of Madam Rey
• A Lion Among Men
• The Lord of The Rings
• The Map of Time
• Out of The Silent Planet
• A Pleasure to Burn
• Return of The Dapper Men
• The Selection
• Stardust

Said books. (Minus a few.)

I should really finish some of those books. Just like I should really finish writing some of those stories. I think I've sufficiently wasted enough time on these crap lists for one day.

I Hate My Face Sometimes

In my efforts to make my face presentable and not acne-riddled and mustachioed, I decided it would be wonderful to share the following with the known world. At least the world with internets and peculiar interests. So I present the following image:

What you are looking at are the various products I often slather across my mug so that you, the human race, are not forced to look upon me with a mixture of disgust and pity.

They consist of (from L-R)

• a facial toner (straight witch hazel),
• skin moisturizer
• a face wash (Black Magic from One Hand Washes The Other (I urge you to check it out) )
• hair remover, for my super-feminine mustache
• acne treatment cream, for those pesky little whoppers that refuse to budge with just face wash
• a peel off mask (Blackberry from Bath and Body Works. I love how it smells, and that it makes me look super racist, cartoons-mimicking-Al-Jolson-style)
• an exfoliating face scrub (also Black Magic, and also as fantastic)
• and finally, an aloe cream, which shall be applied thickly and with wanton disregard for what happens when I happen to drink too hastily, to my upper lip, after use of said hair remover cream (cause that shit can sting)

I have also included, for your benefit, a picture of me in my Al Jolson-style face mask.

Mammy, Mammy, Mammy!
(I had an itch. Don't judge.)

I do not use every item every day. That would be insane. Can you imagine how intense and thick and gross my mustache would have to be for me to use a hair remover, every morning? I would just join a circus at that point. Are they accepting mustachioed ladies or just bearded ladies? I could be the gentleman lady. Ooh story!

Anyway, I have shown you most of medicine cabinet. I do this in good faith. So that when you see me again, and I can only manage to look like this:

You will know that it was the best that I could do. And not consider me ghastly... Look how dry my hair is. It's seriously, so dry.

Previously on "Storm's Life"

I'm really excited for fall this year. I'm excited for it every year but this summer has had me in a pretty bad mood most days. I feel like I had a constant sinus headache from all the sudden temperature changes, the storms were ridiculous at our apartment and almost washed away Jeremy's car one day. (There's a small creek on our property. Well, not 'our' property, but where we live. The landlord's property.) The grass grew to epic lengths and the landlord took forever to cut it, making me hate taking the dog every time she had to go cause I was positive there was no amount of flea and tick guard in the world that would save her from the creek-grass and whatever was living in it, which I assume was pretty stuff. And that one cat kept creeping around and making eye contact when I said, 'hey, cat' but never came over to see me. Jerk. Oh, and our electric bill shot through the roof. Thanks, window air conditioner.

I'm also excited cause I've been obsessing over Pinterest ever since my sister told me about it early this year. I love making things. Homemade things, gifts, decorations, new clothes out of old clothes, etc. so obviously this was the place for me. Except I have a page of Likes of a bajillion various things, some easy, some not-so-easy, that I really want to dive into. Then my bank account reminds me that I have to wait another two weeks. This frustration at my creativity being stifled by money and the man (I guess the man?) is compounded by the fact that every time I walk into a craft store, I want to do every craft project they have on display. Autumn wreaths, Halloween wreaths (totally doing one, btdubs), painting artificial pumpkins, getting neat boxes to hide all our various odds and ends in the apartment, making Christmas decorations! (I am so pumped to make Christmas decorations. I've already started. I need ribbon. Do you have ribbon?) Except since the 'being an adult' thing happened, i.e. paying back student loans, when my paychecks come in, they aren't very helpful. So I've gathered all the assorted crafting items I have available and I'm going to make the most out of it until my hours pick up again. (They've declined recently since school started back up. Not as many families clearing out the denim walls. Selfish pricks.)

I've also started tie-dying. Sort of. We picked up dye in spray bottles and you just moisten (if you like) the area you're coloring and spritz. It's really easy. I re-did a dress and a tank top already. I'm currently waiting for a sock to air dry so I can set the color in the dryer. It needs to air dry because I don't want to get dye on my hands. Also a good reason for the spray bottles. Less clean up.

I recently got reTweeted by a band, The Silent Comedy, that I frickin' love. So that was my highlight for the week pretty much.

We're having Christmas at our apartment this year! My side of the family, and I'm really looking forward to it. Again, cause I get to make decorations and stuff, but also because there's so much more room since we got rid of the piano that I never played (or as Jeremy called it, The Musical Shelf). We're going to to get a tree, artificial cause I'm the only one that vacuums, and move the love seat out into the living room. I even have the movies picked out that are going to play in the background. Jeremy and I always watch two every Christmas: Love, Actually and Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang. So we'll watch those and I thought The Ref would go well with our family, I already know we all love it. I've considered A Nightmare Before Christmas but we should watch a Harry Potter cause I feel like we always watch at least one of them around Christmas in our family. Also, doesn't ABC Family do a marathon of them? Like, at every opportunity?

Plus since I finally cleared out all those excess dishes and glasses, there really is a lot of room everywhere. We even have serving plates! And proper mixing bowls! Not the double boiler pots I was using just the top pot of to mix up stuff, oh and cooking things! Like, a loaf pan. And a 9x13 pan. Yay for living like an adult and not a college kid, which I haven't been ever. I just have to downsize my folded wardrobe so we can get rid of a dresser, and get new bookshelves for the library so we can get the china closet out there and the apartment won't be god-awful anymore. Except for that mold issue, and all the other issues.

The door handle broke again so we just took out the latch bolt and put the handle back and we use the dead bolt. I hate our landlord. I don't even think he changed it when I got locked out and all that shit happened. I think he took it apart, and just put it back together. Classy guy, the landlord is.

Stories and The Like

Let me start by saying that I had the best intentions for the past few days. I was going to make cookies, butterscotch ones to be precise, and clean out my basement, and clear out some of the ridiculous amounts of  glasses in our cupboards to fit in our tupperware which has been sitting on a chair in the kitchen in the box it came in while we use it, and tidy up the living room so there aren't random stacks of papers hanging around on coffee tables, basically I wanted to declutter my apartment.

Then yesterday hanging out with mom her Jeep broke down and I didn't get home till like 7, and I watched True Romance, ate Spaghettios, and got sleepy then went to bed. Today I got home from work and hung out with mom again, then I came home and fully intended to make the butterscotch cookies, cause I definitely wasn't going to get to the basement, and then discovered that I had no butter. So... still no cookies.

Yesterday was Ray Bradbury's birthday. He would've been 92. I was feeling really bold and inspired and I was going to post one of my short stories here, to commemorate what a remarkable summer this has been so far for me. Someone I felt very close to and who made me feel welcome in my own brain passed away, and a little more than a month later someone I hope I always feel very close to and who makes me feel welcome not just in my own brain but in my body and soul celebrated a year of marriage with me. I've slowly begun clawing my way out of overwhelming debt. I haven't gotten a new job yet but they are still interested (they'll supposedly be calling me in the next few weeks for yet another interview). Jeremy got a new car. I colored my hair for the first time in years, and I actually went lighter for the first time ever. I climbed into my house through a bathroom window (that was awesome for me.). So on and so forth.

Then of course I started thinking about it and decided not to post anything as I am every fearful of what people will think of my work. I'm worried they'll think it's awful but not tell me that, and sometimes just as bad is the concern that they'll think it's awful and tell me it is. Or they'll have no response at all. So I figured it would be easier to not take the chance. Because I am a total pussy. Maybe some other time.

It's Tuesday, So I Wrote a Short Blog

Days when I work at 5 am, no matter how late I work till, I always feel like such a bum when I get home and I realize it's not even 3 yet but I'm already wearing my lazy clothes. And I always want to take a nap. Cause I don't get enough sleep the night before an early start so I continue the cycle by taking a nap and then not being able to get to sleep that night. It's vicious.

I love the crap out of Rock Of Ages. I prefer the movie cast recording to the Broadway cast but only because the movie wasn't as over the top with the emoting. The Broadway cast seem to think that the music and story line aren't cheesy enough so they just really drive it home. Also, the Broadway version's Stacee Jaxx sounds like a cross between Danny Zuko and a washed out jock who manages a dealership but doesn't own it. I like Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx better. Plus, who knew he had such a glam metal set of pipes? Super excited to own that DVD.

Jeremy's going out of town for a few days, leaving tonight. This will be the first time I've spent the night alone in this apartment since he worked at the hospital and he was doing overnights, and even then he was still home in the morning. I actually won't see him at all until Sunday, or is it Monday? He'll be back next week sometime. I'm sad. I like him. He's nice to have around.

I work while he's away. Like, I've been working since last Thursday and my next day off isn't until Friday. BUT, I have two days off in a row! That's crazy! That never happens. I hear rumours though that for some people this is actually totally normal. Is this true? Two days off in a row is a thing? What a world.

Mo Money, Mo Problems

Just got off the phone with a debt collector, you know me and my debt problems. Well this is actually the second time I've gotten off the phone with a debt collector in as many weeks. (That ended in an actual money-will-be-paid resolution and not an I'm-hanging-up-the-phone-now-before-I-threaten-your-life-and-your-children resolution. Which isn't really a resolution, now that I think about it.) So I now have payment plans set up for the next nine months, in an attempt to get closer to being in good standing with Sallie Mae and my credit report. An attempt. Meaning what I've just set up, and agreed to pay, does not mean I'm out of collections. It just means when nine months is up, I'll be a little bit closer to it. Yay.

Note to self: the next time you're working a M-F job with weekends off, always, that ensures a minimum of 32 hours a week... don't fucking quit because you hate smelling like bread and onions when you leave work. Oh no, you have to shower before you can do anything after work. Boo fuckin' hoo, you whiny bitch. If you are going to quit, for the love of Christ, make sure you're moving, if not up, at least laterally. Yeah sure, being an adult sucks. Being an irresponsible adult sucks even more. Working in food service at 21 after graduating from a technical school with a pretty much useless two-year degree doesn't mean you're wasting your life, or that you've crushed your own dreams. Being 24, not being able to even think about buying a house, a new car, getting a loan for anything, getting rid of the mold under your living room carpet, taking a vacation, getting a new sofa because the bottom is literally falling out from under your current, or having a baby; this is wasting your life. This is you crushing your own dreams. Because you thought a job with fewer hours, by a lot, that paid less, by a lot, was better somehow than making sandwiches for seven hours a day, Monday through Friday, and never having to work weekends or holidays. You can be such a stupid cow.

So yeah, I'm a little bitter right now. To appease my anger, I'm going to stroll around Target with mom today and put a lot of things in the buggy that I say I'm going to buy even though I don't really have the money right now, but then before I check out, I'll start to feel guilty. Catholic guilty, even. And I'll put most of it back. But not that one item, whatever that item may be today, even if it's just a $1 bottle of nail polish (what up, New York Color?). Because I need to purchase that one thing. It lets me feel like I'm still in control of my finances. Spending that $1 and whatever the tax comes out to will help me feel like my life isn't spiraling into chaos, like it clearly is.

I finally get shopaholics. It's a control issue, even if it's deluding yourself into thinking you have control over not having control. And I am a control freak. So I will buy nail polish and pretend that the money I'm spending is my money. Though we all know it's really not.

Things I Got Distracted By While Waiting For My Nails to Dry

I need a new purse! Yes, this issue is so serious it requires an exclamation point. My current bag has been falling apart, and I patch it up, but then it falls apart from the patching. It's faux leather, which I think is the problem. It makes me sad. I took that thing to another continent. It's been so sturdy. No matter what I put in there, the seams haven't ripped from the strain, the straps haven't snapped from the weight, it just keeps getting these tiny tears in odd places and now it's so bad that the stitching at the straps and zippers is finally starting to come undone. And I know I need to replace it, but I'm really attached to that thing. I get attached to all my bags though, which is generally why I end up using them until they literally fall apart. This one bag I had I used even after my brother's cat chewed the hell out the strap and the material started peeling off, and the "gold" on the chain started to wear away. I only stopped using it entirely because it started smelling like garlic, thanks bitch employee at McDonald's for putting sauce in my bag. (Or maybe a garlic pill exploded? I don't remember now. That wouldn't explain the sauce container. That may have been me being absent minded though. Does McDonald's even have a garlic sauce? Not the point.) So I need a new bag.

Today's Google image is adorable. It's a dude jumping hurdles and shit you move him with your arrow keys and he jumps when you hit the space bar. Super cute. I just played and got the crappiest time ever. I will not repeat it.

Is anyone else excited about this Pitch Perfect movie? I heart Anna Kendrick, but the story line seems like Glee: The College Years. So I'll probably cheap seat that one, but I do find myself searching for the trailer on  Youtube at random intervals. Which is I guess a good indicator of potential entertainment value? Plus, the one dude who's also on Workaholics is in it, and he's humorous. The poster looks badass/adorable too.

How cute is this?

I'm reading this book called Johannes Cabal the Detective. It's the second book in a series about Johannes Cabal, the first being Johannes Cabal the Necromancer, by Jonathan L. Howard. So far, they have been terrific. I haven't finished the second one, in fact I just started it yesterday after finishing the first one, but there's also a third one and I need it in my life. He's a really good writer. It's like listening to a friend tell a story, not about something that happened to them, but about a book they've read or a movie they really like. There's all these asides, and sarcastic comments, and you can tell they're genuinely excited and invested in the material, and you can't help but be interested too. And it's worth your time, cause the story itself is terrific. So... check it out.