Connecting With Others and How To Stop It

Spent a good deal of the afternoon talking with my brother and his wife, via texts, about job opportunities and moving and stuff and I was all excited about the future and then I talk to Jeremy about it, he who has previously also shown interest in moving and more opportunities, and he basically shot it down entirely.

Awesome. Stuck here forever.

Completely unrelated is this brief list I came up with: Things People Should Stop Doing

Yelling when you're on the phone in public. If you're that sure that the person on the other end can't hear you, just hang up or go outside. You make me hate you.

Ignoring your crying child in public. If you don't do something about it, I effing will, and you and your child will both be scarred for the rest of your unnatural lives. Seriously. Shut that kid up. You're embarrassing yourself and your entire genealogy.

Making brief, but obvious, eye contact when in the restroom. Look, I get it. We're both women, we're both in the restroom at the same time. Maybe I'm just leaving a stall and you're going in one, maybe it's reversed. Maybe we're both going to the sink at the same time. That does not mean we are now, nor have ever been, in a secret society of special people who are in the same room at the same time. That would be a totally pointless secret society. What would their purpose even be? Just to meet, accidentally/on purpose, in rooms? Any room too, or specific room? Does the room determine how long you maintain eye contact, or if you share a glimpse of a smile in passing? Shit, maybe there should be a society. Ladies, let's discuss in the restroom. But only briefly.

People walking their dog, nodding and saying hey to other people walking their dog. Or people walking and saying hey to other people walking. People on foot, at any time, passing another person on foot, and saying hey because of any similarity whatsoever. When I'm driving somewhere, I don't nod what's up to another driver next to me at the red light just because we're both driving. If I'm checking out at the grocery store and I notice the guy behind me putting a can of green beans on the conveyor, exactly like the one the cashier just rang up for you guys!, I don't even make eye contact. You know why? Because that does not make us friends! In any damn way. Stop trying to connect yourself with others in completely asinine ways, entire human race!