Odds and Ends

If you haven't seen it last weeks episode of American Horror Story was pretty fantastic, in my opinion. My favorite part was the ending, and not in my usual, sarcastic, 'thank god that's over' way. I was sincerely moved by the ending. You feel Violet's pain when she makes Tate go away and then she's crying and there's no music so it's all you hear and they do that slow-camera-spinny-thing and I was waiting for Vivien to show up and the way she did was terrific. Just her hand on Violet's shoulder while she's crying and then you see them and the look on her face speaks volumes. You see at once her love and pride for her daughter as well as her hatred and disgust at being trapped in the house forever.

I cried. Not gonna lie. Got all teared up and sniffly.

Waiting on a few packages to arrive to be all finished with presents. Everything is bought and wrapped but those few damn things the mail is taking forever to get to me. The one item for Jeremy I bought this past week, got order confirmation, received it Friday, and Saturday got the email that it had shipped. Which was a little backwards, but I got it a lot sooner than I expected to, so that was nice. It's going to be so awesome. I can't wait for him to open it. He's going to love it.

I believe I mentioned that we weren't putting up a tree this year. Instead, I put some ornaments on the wall and strung lights around them in what I had intended to be a star shape. It looks super demented though so I won't be taking pictures of that. It's festive, in what I imagine is the way Renfield would decorate after dining on splys (spider stuffed flys).

I can think of two people off the top of my head who will get that reference.

Unrelated, I'm scheduled overnight Friday till 3:45 am. Our family celebration is Saturday. This seems like an awesome effort on my manager's part to give me Christmas Eve off which I mentioned I would like, but as a retail employee am not allowed to request off, because it's the holidays. I appreciate her efforts. On the other hand, unlike my brother who works till 8-ish Saturday morning, I have time to go home and sleep before festivities begin. Which is almost worse than not being able to, because I can get like four hours before I have to get up and start getting ready. Four hours seems like a lot if you're an insomniac, but after an 8 hour shift during the time of night when you're used to sleeping, four hours actually just feels like a light nap. So I'll likely be pissy and bitchy Saturday. Merry Christmas family!

Honestly, I can find anything to complain about. I am just never satisfied.

Trimming the Tree and Some Dress Sizes

Before the wedding Jeremy and I were both committed to losing weight. We set a goal, and we both reached it before we left for our honeymoon. Yay us!

Then we gained back like, 15 pounds each. Because while we walked everywhere, seriously we walked almost everywhere, we also ate whatever we wanted and... walked everywhere. Walking is not the slimming exercise everyone would have you believe. You tone, true, but you also build muscle which can read as weight gain. Which is fine if you're a dude, but if you're a girl trying to slim down building muscle sucks.

I'm not happy with the wedding pictures or reception pictures because I have this weird pouch thing happening. I guess bloating would be a better term, cause it's higher up than a pouch would be. I'm not a kangaroo or anything, but I feel like I could have looked slimmer. And that's entirely my fault. (Also, everyone who didn't tell me and/or buy me Spanx.) The last holiday picture of Jeremy and I, we both look gross. We saw it and immediately made sounds of disgust at our own images. So we're trying to slim down, together. Again. Maybe this time we'll stay fit until we have kids.

That's my ultimate goal. I want to be about 20-30 pounds lighter when we get pregnant, this way I can gain some healthy baby weight and then make Jeremy stay home with the kid after it's born and I can hang out at the gym 2-4-7. Also, I told Jeremy he's not allowed to gain sympathy weight. That's crap.

Realistically, I just want to fit into the bridesmaids dress I wore for my brother's wedding. That would be B.A. I'm concerned it'll have to wait until after the holidays, only because no one seems to know how to make healthy dishes at this time of year. 'How much does this recipe call for? All the butter in the world? That seems fine.' But if I have no willpower to say no to one more cookie, there doesn't seem to be much hope for the rest of the year, does there? That just won't do. Eff you holiday baking. No means no!

So this holiday, since we're both trying to lose weight, we're committed to keeping each other committed. He's my support, and I'm his. Seriously, it was in the vows: 'I promise to tell you you're pretty when you think you're hideous and compliment your slim and at the same time womanly curves because I know how much it means to you to be fit but still feminine and healthy.'

I wrote them myself.


In related news, (read the title, it's related) we aren't putting up the tree this year. For starters, I hate artificial trees. They creep me out. Also, ours is stored in the basement all year and I don't like to think of the spiders and whatnot we're bringing up into the apartment when we let that tree back in. So instead I'm going to build a tree out of ornaments. It's going to be terrific and sparkly, just like Christmas. With lights and garland and it'll hang from the ceiling so there's no chance the dog will knock things off with her insane tail. Oh! I have to buy Christmas cards... I just remembered that. There's no relation here except that I'm on the Christmas subject.

Also unrelated, it's 3:14 in the afternoon and I still haven't showered. This overnight thing is really messing my schedule.

The Giving of Gifts

I've found that one of the hardest things at the holidays is finding the right gift. As I get older my list of people I have to shop for gets longer and longer, which is frustrating because I'm not made of money people. I don't have money trees growing in my backyard, or anywhere in my yard for that matter. If I did, I would just give money. Do you see me giving money? No, you do not. Because I have no money trees. ...Since money is part cloth, would it still grow on a tree? Just like, a cloth tree, right? That kinda makes sense.

Really though, this list thing is becoming an issue. Sometimes, at various points throughout the year, I'll be perusing the internet and come across a gift that I think would be great for someone and then I'll remember that I didn't buy them a gift last year because I didn't think we were that close and if I buy them a gift this year then I'm saying that we are that close and what if they didn't feel the same way and they haven't bought me a gift but now they feel obligated and we have to buy each other gifts next year out of an obligation and not because we like each other. Or worse, they don't buy me a gift and I just feel like a loser giving gifts away without provocation because I don't know what kind of relationship we have.

See how that got out of control so quickly?

I go through this all the time.

Even with people I know I have to buy for, siblings, parents, significant other; it still get complicated. Sometimes I spend months trying to find the perfect gift, the one that makes the receiver think "she really gets me and knows who I am as a person, she pays attention when I talk." But I never find it. And then I'm scrambling at the last minute to come up with something and it ends up being crap. It's like I remember the one thing they used to be really into and I have two days before the gift-giving and I am running out of options damn it! So enjoy your one millionth copy of The Complete Collection of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle brother, because it's not like I bought you the other nine hundred ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine copies.

Are those numbers accurate? I have no idea. I don't do numbers. Which never seems to stop me from making number jokes. (Why was six afraid of seven?)

I've found this trend happening lately where I find a gift for someone and make a mental note to go back to it closer to the holidays, because if I buy when I see it, then I'll forget that it's in the house and that person will end up with a dozen gifts to the two that I got everyone else. So I remember it, or bookmark it, whatever. Then November comes around and I start seriously thinking about gifts. Because I tend to shop online I like to get those gifts in as soon as I can so I'm not sitting there like a asshole on Christmas morning handing out IOU's cause I was too cheap to pay for 2-day shipping. And then I see it: this whole time I've been thinking, 'oh she'd love that! this would be perfect! she'll probably cry when she opens this.' Those thoughts are for different gifts. All for the same person. So I've compiled a list. Terrific. Of nearly a dozen items. For one person.

I haven't bought them though. Which is better, somehow. But now I have to narrow down the items and then I come back into the territory of, 'what is this gift saying about how I view our relationship?' This one item is $XX, but I know she'll really love it. On the other hand these two items are even cheaper than that one item and I know she's kind of into this thing. Do I go expensive and get the gift I know the person will really love and hope that they also went the same route, or do I go relatively cheaper and get the gift I know they'll put on a good face for but wish they had gotten something a little more personal?

I think the biggest problem I face isn't a monetary value, or how many people I keep having to buy for. It's that I never know how they're going to shop, so I don't know how I'm supposed to shop. Maybe this is why people put price limits on gift giving.

Is it cool to do that with family?

Home For the Holidays

Since we're coming up on the holidays I've been thinking a lot about family and how you show one another that you care. Growing up our family only saw our extended relatives, aunts cousins grandparents etc., at gatherings before Christmas Day itself. We would get together at my dad's parents early in the month, or sometimes we would actually wait until after Christmas to see my mom's side but we never did anything on the day itself. I remember a few times when we had family over for Thanksgiving but that didn't last long, for whatever reason. My main point here is that Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day were always the days where we just hung out at home as a family and didn't go anywhere or do anything. We called family or friends but we never had anywhere to be or anyone to dress up for. We had a semi-traditional meal on Thanksgiving, but I don't honestly remember if we always ate at the table and for Christmas dad would cut up a ham but we never had an actual meal planned. We would just sit around and veg all day. And I loved that.

Being in a relationship has seriously thrown a kink in that plan. Our first Christmas together I hated the idea that I had to leave the apartment. I was fine with going to my parents house but I would have rather waited a day to go to his parents because I just don't like that on a day when I've been practically trained to be lazy I have to be presentable and punctual. The first Thanksgiving was rough. There was no way I was ready to eat two meals like that in one day. But us going on four years together now (I think?) I'm used to the rushed scheduling.

Last year my parents decided to have Christmas on Christmas Eve. It worked out fantastically. We hung out, got a little drunk, took a nap, rallied, got a little drunk again, and laughed at presents. Then we went home and slept and the next day we went to his parents house. Perfect. For some reason, both years we had to do Thanksgiving on the day itself with his parents. Which I get works for everyone else because they have office jobs where Thanksgiving is a holiday where they don't make money. But I work in retail and we do make money on that day, and the day after. And I have to be there super early when we open. Why is it inconsiderate of me to say, hey sorry in-laws I can't make it because I came home from work at 2:45 this morning and I go back in at 8 tonight for 13 hours and I'd like to sleep a lot because I'll need the energy? But Jeremy brings my love. I like to assume that they would they understand.

So I decided that when we have kids, we're not doing anything for the holidays. We'll see family before or after but on the days itself, I don't want to leave the house. I see no reason to. Getting together on major holidays and birthdays does not make you a family, and taking pictures at that time doesn't show others that you're a family. Keeping in touch throughout the year, calling, texting, hanging out with no motives (like needing to ask your parents for money) or pretext, these things keep you close. Having a few days out of the year to catch up on each others lives seems like cheating at being family. Maybe I'm biased because of my upbringing but getting together to exchange gifts and have a good time doesn't automatically mean it's Christmas to me. It just means that this time everyone brought gifts.

Crap, I still haven't put up my tree!

Ho Ho Ho... Santa Snowman!

We're close enough to Thanksgiving that I feel comfortable putting out Christmas candy, and drinking out of my Christmas mug. Even if we weren't I would still do those things cause I woke up this afternoon, after getting home from work at about 4:50 this morning and sleeping for a while, with an obscene headache. It sincerely felt like my brain was crawling out of my face, or at least trying to.

I know I use this metaphor a lot, but it feels accurate and I need people to understand that when my sinuses act up, they also have a tendency to put me out of commission for hours. It's kind of how my mum described migraines, which I've never had the misfortune of dealing with. Not all the symptoms, just the mildly incapacitating parts. I never have light and/or sound sensitivity or nausea, but I do feel that if I move any part of my body my head will explode. Sometimes, it actually lessens the pain if I take my glasses off. I've had to ice my jaw on occasion because my sinuses are so swollen, and sometimes I can't chew so I have to be on a liquid diet until the weather decides to break or my sinuses kill me.

To make myself feel less invalid like I wrap up in a big comfy blanket on the couch and watch TV, whilst occasionally venturing out into the kitchen for more food-that-makes-me-fat. So instead of invalid, I go for fat lazy bitch chilling at home eating bon-bons. Which I guess is a ... trade... of some kind.

Anyway, I wanted to mention the Christmas mug cause it's the one my sister-in-law (the one responsible for the title of this blog post) and my brother gave me for Christmas two years ago. With a big ole basket of teas. I hardly ever use the mug though cause it's all winter-y but since I'm not feeling peachy keen today, and it is almost Thanksgiving (which is the time of year I can start decorating for Christmas and using Christmas things) I figured today was the perfect day for the Moose, Bear, Log Cabin Mug. And it's enormous. Half my coffee pot fits in there. Hang on, I'll try that again: I heat my water in my coffee pot, cause my kettle broke and I still haven't replaced it, and this mug took almost 6 cups to fill up. Well, more like 4 now that I look again but still, that's a big mug for tea drinking. And tea drinking, I am doing.