I've found that one of the hardest things at the holidays is finding the right gift. As I get older my list of people I have to shop for gets longer and longer, which is frustrating because I'm not made of money people. I don't have money trees growing in my backyard, or anywhere in my yard for that matter. If I did, I would just give money. Do you see me giving money? No, you do not. Because I have no money trees. ...Since money is part cloth, would it still grow on a tree? Just like, a cloth tree, right? That kinda makes sense.
Really though, this list thing is becoming an issue. Sometimes, at various points throughout the year, I'll be perusing the internet and come across a gift that I think would be great for someone and then I'll remember that I didn't buy them a gift last year because I didn't think we were that close and if I buy them a gift this year then I'm saying that we are that close and what if they didn't feel the same way and they haven't bought me a gift but now they feel obligated and we have to buy each other gifts next year out of an obligation and not because we like each other. Or worse, they don't buy me a gift and I just feel like a loser giving gifts away without provocation because I don't know what kind of relationship we have.
See how that got out of control so quickly?
I go through this all the time.
Even with people I know I have to buy for, siblings, parents, significant other; it still get complicated. Sometimes I spend months trying to find the perfect gift, the one that makes the receiver think "she really gets me and knows who I am as a person, she pays attention when I talk." But I never find it. And then I'm scrambling at the last minute to come up with something and it ends up being crap. It's like I remember the one thing they used to be really into and I have two days before the gift-giving and I am running out of options damn it! So enjoy your one millionth copy of The Complete Collection of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle brother, because it's not like I bought you the other nine hundred ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine copies.
Are those numbers accurate? I have no idea. I don't do numbers. Which never seems to stop me from making number jokes. (Why was six afraid of seven?)
I've found this trend happening lately where I find a gift for someone and make a mental note to go back to it closer to the holidays, because if I buy when I see it, then I'll forget that it's in the house and that person will end up with a dozen gifts to the two that I got everyone else. So I remember it, or bookmark it, whatever. Then November comes around and I start seriously thinking about gifts. Because I tend to shop online I like to get those gifts in as soon as I can so I'm not sitting there like a asshole on Christmas morning handing out IOU's cause I was too cheap to pay for 2-day shipping. And then I see it: this whole time I've been thinking, 'oh she'd love that! this would be perfect! she'll probably cry when she opens this.' Those thoughts are for different gifts. All for the same person. So I've compiled a list. Terrific. Of nearly a dozen items. For one person.
I haven't bought them though. Which is better, somehow. But now I have to narrow down the items and then I come back into the territory of, 'what is this gift saying about how I view our relationship?' This one item is $XX, but I know she'll really love it. On the other hand these two items are even cheaper than that one item and I know she's kind of into this thing. Do I go expensive and get the gift I know the person will really love and hope that they also went the same route, or do I go relatively cheaper and get the gift I know they'll put on a good face for but wish they had gotten something a little more personal?
I think the biggest problem I face isn't a monetary value, or how many people I keep having to buy for. It's that I never know how they're going to shop, so I don't know how I'm supposed to shop. Maybe this is why people put price limits on gift giving.
Is it cool to do that with family?
Showing posts with label gifts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gifts. Show all posts
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
I'm Drinking Peppermint Iced Tea
(That has nothing to do with this post, it's just delightful tea and homemade. By me. In my home.)
So it's been getting closer and closer to the wedding and I'm going to be honest: when I asked Jeremy yesterday morning if we were getting married in a little over two weeks and he said yes, I swore. Which was not the reaction he anticipated but as a planner (ie, a person who plans) this realization sneaked up on me, and it was not the reaction I would've expected from myself either.
The trouble, I think, with a small wedding is that because there is so little to prepare for that you think you have all this time and you really don't. There are no invites for the ceremony itself because it's a handful of people and I'm wasting a stamp on them (I said it). The reception invites don't go out out until the 11th (a Monday) because they say when we were married and I don't want them going out early and confusing people. However, I still haven't finished the invites (although the one's I have finished look lovely and I'm quite proud of them).
My dress isn't finished yet either. This is very irritating to me. (More irritating because I'm going to have to hear from my brother how he told me I shouldn't have had my aunt make the dress, and I'm going to punch him in the face when he says it. Be forewarned Scooter.) Over a year ago she offered to make the dress for me, I didn't ask her. Between my mom and her they decided it would be really nice and inexpensive for her to make my dress and I agreed, cause I figured she would have a year to work on it and it wouldn't be a problem and I could set it aside happily waiting for the day when I could wear it. And then until March, nothing happened. And then until last month, even after we had the material and everything, she still hadn't taken measurements. (To be fair, I did want to lose some weight but I was pretty close to my goal back in May and she hadn't made any progress.)
So I'm both annoyed and eagerly waiting for my stupid dress to be finished. Back to the planner thing though, I have a back-up dress. On the (hopefully) slim chance that my dress isn't done, I've acquired a cheap thrift store dress (shut up Ashley) that is surprisingly lovely and it's even white. Although that doesn't really make a difference. When I bought it, about two years ago, I didn't realize that the jackass who owned it prior apparently couldn't think of a sensible way to get out of it and so they cut the neckline. (It's a halter, you can see how this is a problem.) I saw it, it looked cute, and I bought it without trying it on. Then I got home and saw the clever hidden safety pins holding the stupid thing together and never got around to fixing it. So yesterday I took it to an alterations place where they informed me there were two options of fixing it:
1. we charge a chump-change amount and it looks like crap, or worse, something you could've done yourself
2. we charge a reasonable amount, that is still much more than you paid for it originally, and it looks like we actually tried to be professional and not snotty about it
I went with option 2.
I'm also struggling to find gifts for people. Etiquette tells me that I should give a gift to my officiate, my photographer, my maid of honor, and my dress maker. Well personal etiquette at least, they're not charging me anything and it's an important day for me and that they've cleared their schedule for that means a lot to me. They're also friends of mine and I should give them something for their help. My maid of honor is taken care of, and I'm pretty sure I have a respectable gift for my aunt, but I have no idea what to get the other two. I thought about a uniform gift for everyone but then it seemed impersonal. So I thought about individual gifts for each but then that seemed to exhibit favoritism. So I settled on a small individual gift as well as a small uniform gift. Except my maid of honor is my brother (yes, back to him which Becca agrees is the kinder and more suitable choice. plus she'll still be there cause I decided I don't care who wants to bitch about non-family being there. it's my wedding.) so if I go with something uniform it has to be unisex in some way. And then I feel bad for not getting anyone else a gift, like his parents, my parents, or his friend who is our back-up photographer, and especially my brother and his wife. Of all the people I want to be saying thank you to they definitely come near the top. AND, the backyard is going to look like a redneck's haven. Yay.
So it's been getting closer and closer to the wedding and I'm going to be honest: when I asked Jeremy yesterday morning if we were getting married in a little over two weeks and he said yes, I swore. Which was not the reaction he anticipated but as a planner (ie, a person who plans) this realization sneaked up on me, and it was not the reaction I would've expected from myself either.
The trouble, I think, with a small wedding is that because there is so little to prepare for that you think you have all this time and you really don't. There are no invites for the ceremony itself because it's a handful of people and I'm wasting a stamp on them (I said it). The reception invites don't go out out until the 11th (a Monday) because they say when we were married and I don't want them going out early and confusing people. However, I still haven't finished the invites (although the one's I have finished look lovely and I'm quite proud of them).
My dress isn't finished yet either. This is very irritating to me. (More irritating because I'm going to have to hear from my brother how he told me I shouldn't have had my aunt make the dress, and I'm going to punch him in the face when he says it. Be forewarned Scooter.) Over a year ago she offered to make the dress for me, I didn't ask her. Between my mom and her they decided it would be really nice and inexpensive for her to make my dress and I agreed, cause I figured she would have a year to work on it and it wouldn't be a problem and I could set it aside happily waiting for the day when I could wear it. And then until March, nothing happened. And then until last month, even after we had the material and everything, she still hadn't taken measurements. (To be fair, I did want to lose some weight but I was pretty close to my goal back in May and she hadn't made any progress.)
So I'm both annoyed and eagerly waiting for my stupid dress to be finished. Back to the planner thing though, I have a back-up dress. On the (hopefully) slim chance that my dress isn't done, I've acquired a cheap thrift store dress (shut up Ashley) that is surprisingly lovely and it's even white. Although that doesn't really make a difference. When I bought it, about two years ago, I didn't realize that the jackass who owned it prior apparently couldn't think of a sensible way to get out of it and so they cut the neckline. (It's a halter, you can see how this is a problem.) I saw it, it looked cute, and I bought it without trying it on. Then I got home and saw the clever hidden safety pins holding the stupid thing together and never got around to fixing it. So yesterday I took it to an alterations place where they informed me there were two options of fixing it:
1. we charge a chump-change amount and it looks like crap, or worse, something you could've done yourself
2. we charge a reasonable amount, that is still much more than you paid for it originally, and it looks like we actually tried to be professional and not snotty about it
I went with option 2.
I'm also struggling to find gifts for people. Etiquette tells me that I should give a gift to my officiate, my photographer, my maid of honor, and my dress maker. Well personal etiquette at least, they're not charging me anything and it's an important day for me and that they've cleared their schedule for that means a lot to me. They're also friends of mine and I should give them something for their help. My maid of honor is taken care of, and I'm pretty sure I have a respectable gift for my aunt, but I have no idea what to get the other two. I thought about a uniform gift for everyone but then it seemed impersonal. So I thought about individual gifts for each but then that seemed to exhibit favoritism. So I settled on a small individual gift as well as a small uniform gift. Except my maid of honor is my brother (yes, back to him which Becca agrees is the kinder and more suitable choice. plus she'll still be there cause I decided I don't care who wants to bitch about non-family being there. it's my wedding.) so if I go with something uniform it has to be unisex in some way. And then I feel bad for not getting anyone else a gift, like his parents, my parents, or his friend who is our back-up photographer, and especially my brother and his wife. Of all the people I want to be saying thank you to they definitely come near the top. AND, the backyard is going to look like a redneck's haven. Yay.
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