Glasses Are Stupid

I broke my glasses yesterday, while they were on my face. By running into a door frame. It was the most idiotic thing I remember doing ever. I had clothes hanging up to dry on hangers, the hangers were on the top of the door frame to our closet, and they took up the entire entrance.

To get into my closet, I duck under the clothes. I did this yesterday, except I was getting a shoe box from the shelf, and I guess I thought I was being cool cause when I ducked in I went in one swift motion, reached for the box, retrieved it, and ducked back out without moving my feet. I did this for two other boxes prior to the fatal box and I thought it was bad ass (because I'm a loser and also have low standards). So naturally, just when I think I've got a groove going and I'm feeling like Daisy handing the coat check girl everyone's coats, crack! I hit my glasses right on the edge of the frame. They smashed into my face, which felt awesome, and then clattered to the floor. They actually clattered, and that needs to be mentioned twice because our apartment is carpeted. The impact was so severe that my glasses clattered onto a soft surface.

I hate things about my life.

The good news is I can still wear them. The bad news is that the way I had to adjust them makes the right side of my head hurt, like it's being pinched. Which it probably is. Also, I keep adjusting them like they're crooked. They actually aren't. So good job on my part on the fixing thing.

Oh, also glasses are super expensive even with insurance. I was going to Wal-Mart before and it was pricey, but I really hoped insurance would make a difference. Not so much. So until I can find an affordable doctor, I'm alternating between my busted glasses (which pinch my head and make it feel explodey) and my contacts (which I'm positive will one day make my eyes explode).

Yay.

The Daisy bit should be around like 2:24 I think.

Money Money... Money!

So I recently checked my student loan progress (by which I mean, I checked to see how delinquent my payments are because everybody knows I'm not paying on that shit) and crunched some numbers and determined a way to pay them off in 8 years. It won't happen because it involves working a minimum of 15 hours a week, steady, which as we all are aware doesn't happen to me. Holidays are great and everything but they also suck cause I forget that the hours won't last once January rolls around. Stupid January.

Upon this discovery I told Jeremy we should play the lottery, because I was feeling both lucky and depressed.

He sent me a picture message in reply, with the letters 'omg.' It was a damn cookie order form for Girl Scout Cookies. What a jerk. Now all my monies are going to cookies, which I won't get for like two months. Actually I don't remember when they come in. It's been way too long since I was a Girl Scout to remember a timeline like that.

The other day I weighed myself (who am I kidding? I weigh myself everyday, because I have a terrible body image and hate myself) and I've gained 5 pounds on this diet and exercise regime I've been on. I have to keep reminding myself that if I'm working out, even if I'm dieting, I'm still building muscle mass. But come on body, 5 pounds of muscle? You show me where damn it, cause all I see are chubby thighs and squeaky biceps. ...You know what I mean when I say squeaky biceps, right? As in, I can flex and you can squeeze my bicep and make the squeaky noise like I'm a chump at the beach who gets sand kicked in her face?

That went sad quick.

Monday was our 6 month anniversary! Yay for making it to the halfway mark! Six more months and we'll have been married for one whole year. At which point I will expect paper stuff. One year is paper right? It's the Paper Anniversary? Anyone? No? That's cool, I'll just have to scour the internet now for the information. Oh no, how awful.

The Giving of Gifts

I've found that one of the hardest things at the holidays is finding the right gift. As I get older my list of people I have to shop for gets longer and longer, which is frustrating because I'm not made of money people. I don't have money trees growing in my backyard, or anywhere in my yard for that matter. If I did, I would just give money. Do you see me giving money? No, you do not. Because I have no money trees. ...Since money is part cloth, would it still grow on a tree? Just like, a cloth tree, right? That kinda makes sense.

Really though, this list thing is becoming an issue. Sometimes, at various points throughout the year, I'll be perusing the internet and come across a gift that I think would be great for someone and then I'll remember that I didn't buy them a gift last year because I didn't think we were that close and if I buy them a gift this year then I'm saying that we are that close and what if they didn't feel the same way and they haven't bought me a gift but now they feel obligated and we have to buy each other gifts next year out of an obligation and not because we like each other. Or worse, they don't buy me a gift and I just feel like a loser giving gifts away without provocation because I don't know what kind of relationship we have.

See how that got out of control so quickly?

I go through this all the time.

Even with people I know I have to buy for, siblings, parents, significant other; it still get complicated. Sometimes I spend months trying to find the perfect gift, the one that makes the receiver think "she really gets me and knows who I am as a person, she pays attention when I talk." But I never find it. And then I'm scrambling at the last minute to come up with something and it ends up being crap. It's like I remember the one thing they used to be really into and I have two days before the gift-giving and I am running out of options damn it! So enjoy your one millionth copy of The Complete Collection of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle brother, because it's not like I bought you the other nine hundred ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine copies.

Are those numbers accurate? I have no idea. I don't do numbers. Which never seems to stop me from making number jokes. (Why was six afraid of seven?)

I've found this trend happening lately where I find a gift for someone and make a mental note to go back to it closer to the holidays, because if I buy when I see it, then I'll forget that it's in the house and that person will end up with a dozen gifts to the two that I got everyone else. So I remember it, or bookmark it, whatever. Then November comes around and I start seriously thinking about gifts. Because I tend to shop online I like to get those gifts in as soon as I can so I'm not sitting there like a asshole on Christmas morning handing out IOU's cause I was too cheap to pay for 2-day shipping. And then I see it: this whole time I've been thinking, 'oh she'd love that! this would be perfect! she'll probably cry when she opens this.' Those thoughts are for different gifts. All for the same person. So I've compiled a list. Terrific. Of nearly a dozen items. For one person.

I haven't bought them though. Which is better, somehow. But now I have to narrow down the items and then I come back into the territory of, 'what is this gift saying about how I view our relationship?' This one item is $XX, but I know she'll really love it. On the other hand these two items are even cheaper than that one item and I know she's kind of into this thing. Do I go expensive and get the gift I know the person will really love and hope that they also went the same route, or do I go relatively cheaper and get the gift I know they'll put on a good face for but wish they had gotten something a little more personal?

I think the biggest problem I face isn't a monetary value, or how many people I keep having to buy for. It's that I never know how they're going to shop, so I don't know how I'm supposed to shop. Maybe this is why people put price limits on gift giving.

Is it cool to do that with family?

Jones Soda is trying to tell me something

While in the midst of applying for various jobs doing god knows what I opened a bottle of Jones Soda. The cap said, "Don't be hasty, prosperity will knock at your door." Or something to that effect.

Two days ago I was drinking another Jones Soda, wondering if I should buy these boots that I've been lusting after, and this cap said, "Financial decisions will prove rewarding."

Then yesterday my brother texted me regarding a business opportunity and Jeremy and I are teetering on it. Isn't feasible right now, where would we live, he needs a new job, etc. I opened another Jones Soda and this cap says to me, "Travel and money are soon in your future."

If you're wondering, no we don't spend the ludicrous amounts of money Jones Soda expects from us often, if at all. They bought too much at work and they were going to pass the sell-by date so they've been in the fridge for the employees for free for the past week or so. I take one home everyday I work. I was originally taking good flavors for Jeremy cause I don't care that much about it, but then good flavors dwindled and died. Now it's just green apple and diet vanilla bean.

ANYWAY, I find it curious that I keep getting caps talking about prosperity and travel and my future when those are the things I'm most concerned with right now. And also that I'm getting them from the place I'm hoping to get out of.

About two weeks ago now, almost three, I was asked if they could have me full-time. I said yes. Last week I got 18 hours, which is more than twice what I normally get. This week? I have 9 hours.

Jeremy says if I'm not full-time by the end of the month just to quit, whether or not I have another job, cause he's tired of them dicking me around. (Spell check came up on 'dicking.') I don't like it much either but I don't think it's wise. He makes enough for us to struggle by for about two months but I haven't had any luck finding something else (aside from Wal-Mart) for the past two years that I've been looking. I don't think the opportunity we've waiting for is going to come knocking in the next two months.

Aside: The day I was supposed to get my job offer from Wal-Mart is the day I was offered full-time. Which is why I turned down Wal-Mart. We all make really, really stupid mistakes sometimes.

Workin' for the Weekend

I painted my toes last night. And I did the laundry (at my parents' place, as per the usual).
That's pretty much the extent of my accomplishments this week. To be fair, it is only Tuesday, but I highly doubt anything else more exciting will come up.

This past Saturday I had a job interview at a cash advance type place. I feel like it went well but at the end I was told that it was the first in three interviews, which made me nervous because what if I didn't make enough of an impression to even merit a second interview? So then of course I started doubting everything that I said in the interview and now I'll be anxious until I get a call back sometime this week, either tomorrow or Thursday. Unless they wait until Friday, which is just mean.

It's definitely not a job I ever would have thought of for me but I do need a better job than the crap one I have now. I worked Sunday, and I'm done until next week. It was a four hour shift that was extended to a five hour and may have been extended a bit longer except they didn't want to give me a lunch. Thanks a bunch guys. I don't need the money. Plus, this new job (fingers crossed) is full-time and really good pay (by my standards at least), and all the awesome benefits that come with that: paid holidays off, monthly bonuses, good health insurance, a weeks paid vacation after six months, etc.

So needless to say, I'm really exciting about it and really hope I get it. Cause my next option is selling my body to the night... like Roxanne.