Previously on "Storm's Life"

I'm really excited for fall this year. I'm excited for it every year but this summer has had me in a pretty bad mood most days. I feel like I had a constant sinus headache from all the sudden temperature changes, the storms were ridiculous at our apartment and almost washed away Jeremy's car one day. (There's a small creek on our property. Well, not 'our' property, but where we live. The landlord's property.) The grass grew to epic lengths and the landlord took forever to cut it, making me hate taking the dog every time she had to go cause I was positive there was no amount of flea and tick guard in the world that would save her from the creek-grass and whatever was living in it, which I assume was pretty stuff. And that one cat kept creeping around and making eye contact when I said, 'hey, cat' but never came over to see me. Jerk. Oh, and our electric bill shot through the roof. Thanks, window air conditioner.

I'm also excited cause I've been obsessing over Pinterest ever since my sister told me about it early this year. I love making things. Homemade things, gifts, decorations, new clothes out of old clothes, etc. so obviously this was the place for me. Except I have a page of Likes of a bajillion various things, some easy, some not-so-easy, that I really want to dive into. Then my bank account reminds me that I have to wait another two weeks. This frustration at my creativity being stifled by money and the man (I guess the man?) is compounded by the fact that every time I walk into a craft store, I want to do every craft project they have on display. Autumn wreaths, Halloween wreaths (totally doing one, btdubs), painting artificial pumpkins, getting neat boxes to hide all our various odds and ends in the apartment, making Christmas decorations! (I am so pumped to make Christmas decorations. I've already started. I need ribbon. Do you have ribbon?) Except since the 'being an adult' thing happened, i.e. paying back student loans, when my paychecks come in, they aren't very helpful. So I've gathered all the assorted crafting items I have available and I'm going to make the most out of it until my hours pick up again. (They've declined recently since school started back up. Not as many families clearing out the denim walls. Selfish pricks.)

I've also started tie-dying. Sort of. We picked up dye in spray bottles and you just moisten (if you like) the area you're coloring and spritz. It's really easy. I re-did a dress and a tank top already. I'm currently waiting for a sock to air dry so I can set the color in the dryer. It needs to air dry because I don't want to get dye on my hands. Also a good reason for the spray bottles. Less clean up.

I recently got reTweeted by a band, The Silent Comedy, that I frickin' love. So that was my highlight for the week pretty much.

We're having Christmas at our apartment this year! My side of the family, and I'm really looking forward to it. Again, cause I get to make decorations and stuff, but also because there's so much more room since we got rid of the piano that I never played (or as Jeremy called it, The Musical Shelf). We're going to to get a tree, artificial cause I'm the only one that vacuums, and move the love seat out into the living room. I even have the movies picked out that are going to play in the background. Jeremy and I always watch two every Christmas: Love, Actually and Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang. So we'll watch those and I thought The Ref would go well with our family, I already know we all love it. I've considered A Nightmare Before Christmas but we should watch a Harry Potter cause I feel like we always watch at least one of them around Christmas in our family. Also, doesn't ABC Family do a marathon of them? Like, at every opportunity?

Plus since I finally cleared out all those excess dishes and glasses, there really is a lot of room everywhere. We even have serving plates! And proper mixing bowls! Not the double boiler pots I was using just the top pot of to mix up stuff, oh and cooking things! Like, a loaf pan. And a 9x13 pan. Yay for living like an adult and not a college kid, which I haven't been ever. I just have to downsize my folded wardrobe so we can get rid of a dresser, and get new bookshelves for the library so we can get the china closet out there and the apartment won't be god-awful anymore. Except for that mold issue, and all the other issues.

The door handle broke again so we just took out the latch bolt and put the handle back and we use the dead bolt. I hate our landlord. I don't even think he changed it when I got locked out and all that shit happened. I think he took it apart, and just put it back together. Classy guy, the landlord is.

Stuff-n-Such

...:sigh:...

I want to really set the tone for this post because it contains some just-my-luck tales and I need you, as my audience, to be fully prepared to immerse yourself in my story of woe with both empathy and sympathy. So let me try again:

:inhale with a slight yet sad smirk:

:glance about as though it were possible for eyes to shrug:

:actually shrug, but only barely:

:sigh with deep melancholy:


I attempted to color my hair today.

There, I said it.

It did not turn out the way I planned. Because it never turns out the way I plan. I always want the colors I see pictured on the box. I have those three before shades already. Why can't I put the color in have the after shades? Why can't you just love me? And not give me varying degrees of orange/red?

My hair color right now, after the incredibly strong fumes, and 30 minute wait, then extra 20 minutes it took to dry it, is approximately the same shade as my summer hair. What I mean by that is, it's the color my hair lightens to naturally when in the sun over summer. So I could have just wait until May for this nearly imperceptible color. Thanks Loreal.

In unrelated news, today at lunch with Cody, mom, and dad, Cody and I discovered we were both on Twitter but were not following each other. So we remedied that. And then mom, Cody and I spent the drive home tweeting to each other like it was a chat room. It is not a chat room. Regardless, the novelty will soon wear I'm sure. If it does not, they will constantly be inundated with notifications from Twitter because I tweet a way lot.

I said it. A way lot. Not a sentence. Made it one! A poorly constructed one. Oh! We found the cable for the camera so I can start uploading shit. From last July!

You're welcome.

This One's For My Homies

My sister-in-law sent me a text today, one among many bitching about my brother and Christmas gifts. Amidst these angry texts I also received a suggestion to write a blog about one of her recent Facebook statuses and how no one really commented on it and they should have.

So I read it:

Awkward Christmas song lyrics, Under My Tree by 'N Sync:
No one else but me and you
Nothing I would rather do
Then make all your dreams come true
Under my tree
Such a cozy rendez-vous
Just relax enjoy the view
I'll show you how could it could be.
I wish that Santa could be here to see
It's beautiful, beautiful, beautiful under my tree

Now, when I first copied these lyrics over yonder, I had already told Jeremy she had this status. So I get them here, and I'm like, 'Alright here are the Awkward Christmas lyrics.' And I read them aloud. Our conversation went as follows:

Me: (after the lyrics) So that's it.
Jeremy: ...I think it's about the chick licking his balls.
Me: What?
Jeremy: Read it again, that's what it's about.
:I read it again:
Me: Are you saying the tree is-
Jeremy: The tree is his dick.

This made me think of Dick-in-a-Box. I don't know that I agree with this assessment, but it did make me laugh. Merry Christmas... ladies.

Other things that made me laugh: myself. Just now. We were talking about T-shirts and this one shirt he bought me, it's a picture of a dandy looking cup of tea with a cane and monocle, rocking some spats, and running like a spazz behind him is a freaked out cup o' Joe, with crazy eyes. It says, 'Tea, the gentleman's coffee.' Get it, guys? It's my T-shirt. My, t shirt. Tea shirt. It made me CTO.

That's a new thing. I'm starting a new LOL, it's CTO. Chortling To Oneself, or Chortled To Oneself. It'll catch on.

I make myself laugh all the time. (That's actually a line from my sister-in-law. She had it in her About Me on Myspace, back in the day. When I read it, I CTO. CTO'd? This is going to be a tough one to move into the vernacular.)

In unrelated news, I made Jeremy watch The Godfather Saturday night and I live-tweeted his comments. There weren't many, but they amused me. Lots of things amuse me. I would link to it, but it's Twitter. You'll never find it. ... I probably should've put it on my Tumblr now that I think about. Or even hear. I could transpose, I suppose. Apropos of nothing... see what I did there?

I'm done now.