Home For the Holidays

Since we're coming up on the holidays I've been thinking a lot about family and how you show one another that you care. Growing up our family only saw our extended relatives, aunts cousins grandparents etc., at gatherings before Christmas Day itself. We would get together at my dad's parents early in the month, or sometimes we would actually wait until after Christmas to see my mom's side but we never did anything on the day itself. I remember a few times when we had family over for Thanksgiving but that didn't last long, for whatever reason. My main point here is that Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day were always the days where we just hung out at home as a family and didn't go anywhere or do anything. We called family or friends but we never had anywhere to be or anyone to dress up for. We had a semi-traditional meal on Thanksgiving, but I don't honestly remember if we always ate at the table and for Christmas dad would cut up a ham but we never had an actual meal planned. We would just sit around and veg all day. And I loved that.

Being in a relationship has seriously thrown a kink in that plan. Our first Christmas together I hated the idea that I had to leave the apartment. I was fine with going to my parents house but I would have rather waited a day to go to his parents because I just don't like that on a day when I've been practically trained to be lazy I have to be presentable and punctual. The first Thanksgiving was rough. There was no way I was ready to eat two meals like that in one day. But us going on four years together now (I think?) I'm used to the rushed scheduling.

Last year my parents decided to have Christmas on Christmas Eve. It worked out fantastically. We hung out, got a little drunk, took a nap, rallied, got a little drunk again, and laughed at presents. Then we went home and slept and the next day we went to his parents house. Perfect. For some reason, both years we had to do Thanksgiving on the day itself with his parents. Which I get works for everyone else because they have office jobs where Thanksgiving is a holiday where they don't make money. But I work in retail and we do make money on that day, and the day after. And I have to be there super early when we open. Why is it inconsiderate of me to say, hey sorry in-laws I can't make it because I came home from work at 2:45 this morning and I go back in at 8 tonight for 13 hours and I'd like to sleep a lot because I'll need the energy? But Jeremy brings my love. I like to assume that they would they understand.

So I decided that when we have kids, we're not doing anything for the holidays. We'll see family before or after but on the days itself, I don't want to leave the house. I see no reason to. Getting together on major holidays and birthdays does not make you a family, and taking pictures at that time doesn't show others that you're a family. Keeping in touch throughout the year, calling, texting, hanging out with no motives (like needing to ask your parents for money) or pretext, these things keep you close. Having a few days out of the year to catch up on each others lives seems like cheating at being family. Maybe I'm biased because of my upbringing but getting together to exchange gifts and have a good time doesn't automatically mean it's Christmas to me. It just means that this time everyone brought gifts.

Crap, I still haven't put up my tree!