I Bought To Much Fabric

I am now halfway to my goal weight. And I might actually get there before the wedding. But I feel happy where I am, which is much different from how I felt when I wasn't, so if I don't get there by July it's not a big deal. I'll still keep working out and eating right because it makes me feel better physically, and when I feel good physically I feel good mentally, and vice versa. Jeremy is also halfway to his goal, but he has a longer way to go than me once we get back from the honeymoon, cause he claims that he started out fifty pounds overweight, which I don't buy but then he showed me the jeans he had when we met that fit perfectly and they do look very small. Compared to him at least. He's a big dude to begin with though, and he's probably not going to get back down to that completely because of the muscle mass from karate and P90. And I don't see anything wrong with that.

I bought material for my wedding dress last week, twice. The first time, I thought I had found the perfect color and I bought four yards of it, (cause that's how much we need) and then I thought about it over the next three days. And I decided I didn't want that color. So I went out yesterday and found another color in the same area, but darker. And then I found the perfect accent color to go with the darker color. And I bought four yards of the dark. If I change my mind again, I'm just getting married in shorts and a T-shirt. (I should note that I bought both colors on sale so it wasn't a big loss or anything.)

I do think I made the right call in getting the new color though. It's very subdued and mellow and understated, which I feel is more appropriate for me and my personality, and for how I hope the wedding in general will be. But I do still love the first color I bought and I was thinking, how pretentious would it be to have two wedding dresses?

I'm sure I could find something to do with the first color but still, I'm almost a little irritated with myself that I didn't think of it before. I think it's because when I first looked at the color my mom said it looked to autumn-y and I wasn't sure if I agreed with her or not but she said she loved how the brighter one looked against my skin and I agreed because I like bright things. But then we saw the dark against me and I loved it. I also picked up the accent color, and then completely forgot to get thread for both colors.

And no, I'm not making the dress. First, because I don't even own a sewing machine (nor do I know how to operate one), and second, because I was told it's bad luck to make your own dress.

I did ask someone to be my witness though, because I really want her at my wedding but it's just parents and siblings so I needed a way for her to be there without having to hear about it from either side of the family. I've gotten enough grief on the guest front. We told his parents we only wanted thirty guests and that the reception would be a month after the ceremony and his dad was all snippy and "well if it's only thirty people why don't we just have it on the same day?" Um, because future-father-in-law, that's what we decided on. Also because I finally just let mom plan everything and she decided on that arrangement. And I don't honestly care.

I'm also trying to figure out a polite way to tell Jeremy's sister that she can't bring her kids. We found out that if you tell her it's an adults only service, she'll still bring the little demon spawns. She did it last year at a cousins wedding and we were baffled by her audacity. How can you completely disregard someone's wishes, and especially on their wedding day? I don't want them crying about the dogs, or not being able to go swimming, or worse interrupting the service to whine loudly about something that nobody fucking cares about. You're hot? Shut the fuck up, no one's interested. Did Noah hit you? Seriously, shut the fuck up. Do you want to get in the pool? Cause I will drown your rude, inconsiderate little self. These kids are ten, or possibly nine, but at any rate they're old enough to be polite and have manners and sit quietly for ten goddamn minutes while we agree to love to each other for better or for worse and blah blah blah.

I should probably just let Jeremy talk to her.

Stuff and Such

So far both Jeremy and I have lost over ten pounds each. Of course he's been doing this for a shorter time than I have but I expected him to lose weight quicker. Doesn't mean I'm not a little ticked about it though. We also started doing P90 five to six days a week. I friggin' love it.

When I started doing yoga I did it because I kept hearing how it's supposed to make you feel better physically and mentally. It's supposed to center you and all this other crap. Except I never got that. I just felt incredibly drained and like I could nap for a day. After the P90 though, even during, I feel really good. I feel like I'm making healthy progress towards my weight loss goal and I feel really energized and happy. Yoga always made me feel like I had just died, and P90 makes me feel like I could live forever, is basically what I'm getting at. Although really, who wants to live forever?

In other news, I've stopped procrastinating and have started work on my masks again as well as writing a few short stories. I've also gone back to what I like to call "Essays That Will Never See the Light of Day" and that subject is self-explanatory. I think a lot of this new energy is the change in weather, which isn't surprising. I always sleep less in the spring and summer than the fall and winter. If the sun is up longer I usually am as well. I think that's the mammal instinct of hibernating, except I can't actually hibernate in the modern age so I just get lethargic. It sucks, but then the snow melts.