There's a Fucking Bumble Bee in My Library and It Just Happened So I Didn't Blog About That

When I think about the past few weeks, I feel like I've been productive. But then I actually think about them, and I have nothing to show for them. So I have no idea why I feel accomplished, but I really need to nail it down so as to use it for the rest of my natural life. Because we all know I will continue this trend well into my 40's.

My sister-in-law introduced me to Pinterest. I think because she hates me. No joke, I've killed like, days on there. Bookmarking shit for later, like I'm really going to do any of those projects. I just had a four day weekend, know what I did? See the above paragraph.

Spring cleaning is going to be insane at our apartment this year. I moved two pieces of furniture in the bedroom today and nearly died from the dust that I kicked up. Oh! And the blinds. The blinds! Those poor bastards haven't been dusted since we moved in. Before that actually because the landlord didn't really clean this place. So at least 3-4 years since they last were cleaned. No wonder we get sick so much, this place is a breeding ground. Breeeeding. I'm going to start spring cleaning early, cause I don't actually want to die in this place. The thought makes me sad.

I'm always excited when I start a new story, cause it's a fresh story and new characters, and then I remember that I abandoned my other characters in favor of these ones. I'm like the character in angsty tween movies on ABC Family who gets in with the cool crowd (I'm in with the in crowd) and bails on her kinda dorky friends who have been there since the beginning. And good riddance too. Fuck those kids, with their individual style and kind of wacky hair, or whatever makes kids losers these days.

What else is going on...oh yeah I down-sized my lotion collection. And it was a collection. Vast and heavily scented, like the Hanging Gardens of Babylon except easily transported (but not airline approved) bottles filled with water and glycerin and "essential oils." Please, those scents are made in a lab and we all know it, Bath and Body Works. I still have about five bottles of lotion left, but you haven't heard the original number yet. Ready? Alright here it is, and I'm not exaggerating, I counted: 21.

Who the fuck needs 21 bottles of lotion? Shit, who needs 5 but that's beside the point. The point is I have a problem. My skin isn't even that dry. Well it wouldn't be really, what with all the 21 bottles of lotion. So I just mixed them all together. I really thought it would smell awful and I would just have to throw it all out and start over from scratch (I would think that because buying more lotion would be joyful for me. Again, problem.), but no. No, it actually smells really good. Like, bubble bath good. That's not my best analogy but I really do love bubble baths. I like to take them either before or after a shower, this way I still get clean. I soak for hours. Hours. I get all pruney and water logged and the water gets room temp before I'm done with it. Sometimes,  I add more hot water. Mostly I just like being in the water. And pretty smells. A bubble bath combines both of those things. Why would I not like it?

I made a vest out a T-shirt recently. It's pretty pimp. I would show you, but some asshole keeps not buying a chord for the camera like he said he would for me to upload pictures. And I'm waaayyy too lazy to buy one myself. So just take my word for it. It's B.A. Barackus-style. I used one of Jeremy's old shirts, and cut the sleeves and collar off and then cut the seams open and the open neck becomes the arm holes. I have a Cobra Kai vest now. Thanks Jeremy!

Spring Cleaning... Is That a Thing?

Spring cleaning is stupid. I don't feel like I took too long to get to it cause it should be warm enough out to open windows when you clean your entire living quarters. But I do feel like it's a waste of time. Aside from getting rid of a bunch of crap I discovered I have neither need nor use for I still have to do the general cleaning every week if not more frequently. I have discovered a serious problem with the filtration in my apartment. If I go week to week dusting we have tiny little animals hanging out in corners and crannies. I have no idea where they come from or how they get there or where they're keeping their luggage.

When I lived at home, at our most ridiculous we had three cats, four dogs, and five people living in the house. We never had this much dust or fur. It boggles my mind. I think it has something to do with the lack of movement in our apartment. With fewer people the dust and whatnot has time to settle without being disturbed for days at a time. We have a second bedroom that we turned into a library and if I haven't been in there for a few a week, (which sometimes happens, cause I like to pretend I'm a busy person but really I'm just watching Netflix) everything seems to be covered in a fine layer of dust. So before I can curl up with a book I have to dust all the furniture down and sweep the dog fur off the loveseat cause that bitch keeps laying on it while we're out. (Our library door doesn't stay closed so she's in there all the effing time.)

And our bedroom. Sweet Jesus. I just cleaned our dressers off and I had to take everything off them before I could even consider dusting. Ya know how sometimes you do lazy dusting, where you just dust around objects instead of actually picking them up (akin to lazy vacuuming, see the previous sentence and substitute sweeping for dusting)? I can't imagine that as a possibility because I'm both horrified at our disgusting it looks and terrified at the idea that some kind of germy-menace is living there waiting to kill me while I sleep... or while I'm awake. Whichever. It'll do it man. That germy-menace is no joke.

Anyway, I figured I could jump on cleaning today, spring-wise, and get rid of some crap I don't need anymore or do some condensing. Something to make this place seem more like a place where people live instead of a place where people put there things. I hate that feeling. I look around and just see clutter. I need organized and I don't have it and so I freak out and do a massive purge where I end up throwing out things that in a few weeks, or days, I realize I could've used. I just really hate this apartment (and our landlord) so I keep putting off doing any real organizing in the hopes that we'll find another place and I can organize properly there.

Hasn't happened yet.

So I opened some windows, cause it's not exactly warm but the humidity is pretty high. And I'm slowly but surely doing some spring cleaning. And hating my life a little bit more. (Kidding! It could be worse. I could be cleaning at my parents where they have three poodles who fucking love the rain and mud... gross.)