I'm still learning social cues. How sad is that? At 25 I still don't have a full grasp of 'time and place for everything.' I got an inkling of it when I read Where The Wild Things Are, but then on later reflection I discovered I was probably misunderstanding the point of that story. (Everyone has a mental disorder? Sometimes people are bipolar? I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually.)
Some cues I've stumbled across recently:
- When people ask if you've lost weight, they don't really care if you have or not, they want you to ask if they have.
- When people how you've been or what you've been up to, they don't care they just want you to ask what they've been up to. You could have pulled a child from a burning building or scaled Kilimanjaro, they aren't interested. In fact, to tell them about that would be in bad taste because you'll only make them feel like they're underachievers.
- If you've done anything charitable or good, tell everyone. Just throw it in their faces so they feel like shit because what the fuck have they done lately? Oh you rearranged the living room? That must look real nice. Yes I always thought that end table would look lovely by that window. You must be so proud. (This conflicts with the previous knowledge I've presented regarding social situations. That's actually a recurring theme in humans.)
- Do you think :insert name of person, animal, special interest, etc. here: is the best thing ever? You're probably right. Go ahead and tell everyone that what they think is best is wrong and then tell them it's because your best thing is the best because you said so and if they ever thought their best thing was best then they were stupid. Cause your thing is best.
- Humans have no grasp of the concept of 'opinion' and like to make everyone else feel terrible for disagreeing with them. They also really love to 'disown' people, or stop beings friends with them for not having same interests, or not knowing the same things they know. You've never heard of this movie? We can't be friends anymore. You don't know this song? I can't be seen with you. You don't know who this person is? Were you raised by wolves? (This is an especially interesting quality in the race. It seems that they feel if their friends would only listen to a particular song, or read a certain book, show an interest in anything that a person has an interest in then they would immediately love it the, exact, same, way that that person does. This is ludicrous. Nobody loves anything exactly the same way. Nobody feels the exact same way as anybody else. That's part of makes humans so diverse. Maybe they will like it, maybe they won't. Admittedly, at least give it a try, is a nice concept. Regardless though, sharing interest in something so trivial shouldn't determine whether you can be friends with a person or not. I'll allow an exception for things that have sincerely changed your life for the better. And if a person constantly makes fun of the thing you're into, instead of being an adult about it and accepting that if nothing else at least it makes you happy.)
- Everything is a double standard. Everything.
I've gleaned more, but this turned into something angry unintentionally so I'm going to go deal with that anger through the therapy of written word. I stole that line from The Following, which by the way I am still not a big fan of. I wish Joe Carroll had been portrayed by the dude playing Roderick. That guy was charming and enigmatic and I buy people following him blindly. James Purefoy... make better decisions.
