Being Lazy After a 13-hour Shift

A belated Happy Turkey Day to anyone who celebrated and didn't make a comment about the pilgrims raping the Indians of their land and property. We get it, it's a terrible holiday. Most of them are. Shut up now. (And stop making Zombie Jesus jokes at Easter. You're boring.)

So I got home from work this morning at sometime-between-8-and-9-am and as soon as I got to the living room and made sure the apartment door was shut, I immediately took off all my clothes. Ya know how normally I take off my pants? This morning I just stripped down and went straight into the bathroom to shower. There was no possible way I could go to bed feeling that gross and dirty.

I managed to sleep in some Thursday morning before the required visit to the in-laws but it was only till about 12:30. And I didn't get to nap at all. We went from his parents house to him dropping me off at work. I wasn't up a full 24 hours, thank Christ, but I was still exhausted. There seemed to be a miscommunication with my schedule, as usual, and as a result I had three very different schedules: the one emailed to me, the one on the calender in administration, and the individual one in the system. Two of them said I was scheduled to 7 am, one said 9 am, one said I should have been working 5pm-4:45am M-W. It was all a mess. But we slowed down, and the District Manager said I was doing a good job in replenishment so my manager let me go an hour early. Bless her heart.

I woke up at 2:55 this afternoon. It was awesome. Made no plans for the day except to see a movie with my brother and sister-in-law while they're in town so we can hang out a little before the belated holiday celebrations with our family tomorrow. So it should turn out to be a nice lazy night.

Conversations with My Husband

(Jeremy comes in at the end of Gossip Girl)

Jeremy: Who's that? She looks familiar.

Me: Blake Lively.

(Blank look on his face.)

Me: That name means nothing to you. Oh! Green Lantern.

Jeremy: (scoffs) Storm... that is not Ryan Reynolds.

Ho Ho Ho... Santa Snowman!

We're close enough to Thanksgiving that I feel comfortable putting out Christmas candy, and drinking out of my Christmas mug. Even if we weren't I would still do those things cause I woke up this afternoon, after getting home from work at about 4:50 this morning and sleeping for a while, with an obscene headache. It sincerely felt like my brain was crawling out of my face, or at least trying to.

I know I use this metaphor a lot, but it feels accurate and I need people to understand that when my sinuses act up, they also have a tendency to put me out of commission for hours. It's kind of how my mum described migraines, which I've never had the misfortune of dealing with. Not all the symptoms, just the mildly incapacitating parts. I never have light and/or sound sensitivity or nausea, but I do feel that if I move any part of my body my head will explode. Sometimes, it actually lessens the pain if I take my glasses off. I've had to ice my jaw on occasion because my sinuses are so swollen, and sometimes I can't chew so I have to be on a liquid diet until the weather decides to break or my sinuses kill me.

To make myself feel less invalid like I wrap up in a big comfy blanket on the couch and watch TV, whilst occasionally venturing out into the kitchen for more food-that-makes-me-fat. So instead of invalid, I go for fat lazy bitch chilling at home eating bon-bons. Which I guess is a ... trade... of some kind.

Anyway, I wanted to mention the Christmas mug cause it's the one my sister-in-law (the one responsible for the title of this blog post) and my brother gave me for Christmas two years ago. With a big ole basket of teas. I hardly ever use the mug though cause it's all winter-y but since I'm not feeling peachy keen today, and it is almost Thanksgiving (which is the time of year I can start decorating for Christmas and using Christmas things) I figured today was the perfect day for the Moose, Bear, Log Cabin Mug. And it's enormous. Half my coffee pot fits in there. Hang on, I'll try that again: I heat my water in my coffee pot, cause my kettle broke and I still haven't replaced it, and this mug took almost 6 cups to fill up. Well, more like 4 now that I look again but still, that's a big mug for tea drinking. And tea drinking, I am doing.

High Anxiety

Last night at work, I was climbing like a 15' ladder and I was right next to some light fixtures (that I personally have always thought were too low) whilst hanging some clothes on an end panel and while up there I glanced over my shoulder for some reason, and I actually got light headed (and almost had a panic attack) cause I felt like I was falling backwards.

I don't have a fear of heights, vertigo, and I'm not normally prone to panic attacks or anxiety. So I'm going to chalk it up to it being so damn hot in that store to being with, and having 90 watt light bulbs literally inches from me.

The rest of my evening was spent wondering how inappropriate it would be to wear a two-piece to work, trying to stay away of from the damn lights, and sweating like a man. Oh, and organizing boots. Always with the boots. Once October rolls around the boots start pouring in. And they keep coming until March, when we start getting flip flops instead. It makes me hate footwear.

- Working there kinda makes me hate all things all things related to clothing and covering the body. When I get home from work, I take off my shoes first, and I almost always follow that with taking off my pants. And sometimes my shirt. And socks. Occasionally I'll put on a robe, but most often I desperately need to shower and take a nap, cause it's like working out but for 5-9 hours straight. Just climbing, and bending, and lifting, and sweating. And I'm supposed to look decent while doing this so I'm wearing nice clothes, or jeans and a button up, or khakis. We're not even supposed to wear shoes with a rubber sole, but I say eff that and wear my sneakers anyway. So when I get out of there, my clothes are covered in sweat and I hate everything that I'm wearing and I never want to wear it again so when I get home of course my first reaction is to take off all my clothes. I can't tell if it's worse or better in the cold months, cause when I leave work at least it's a little refreshing to walk out into cool air and not a 90+ scorcher. All I know is I wish I could work from home. This way when I work out, I only have to do an hour of it and I can wear whatever clothes I want. Instead of doing squats in jeans. -

Ladies, Stop Throwing Your Unbroken Hymen Around Like It's No Thing

So the episode of Gossip Girl I'm watching right now has Jennie about to lose her V-card. She's 16, he's an adult and a drug dealer, and everyone's telling her to wait and think it over, be sure, yada yada. And she is dead set on just giving it away. Then, when they're in bed, she finally tells him she's a virgin, and he says it's no big deal.

I'm sorry, no big deal? No big deal? Why do people have that response? In what free-love world are you living in where having sex for the first time is just a thing to check off a list?

• Do laundry
• Wash hair
• Grab lunch with friends
• Lose virginity
• Do laundry... again

So Jennie hears this, and for once this chick who is constantly making the stupidest decisions I have ever seen a teenage girl make, real or imagined, says the same thing I said a moment before she did: Actually, it is a big deal.

Of course, she lied and told Serena she had sex anyway but that's her self-esteem issues to work out, and no amount of my yelling at the TV is going to change the fact that she absolutely should have told her step-sister she was mature enough to not have dismissive sex with someone who doesn't care about her and that she needed a shoulder to cry on. Because lying about doing that is almost as bad as doing it. Shame on you, CW writers. You are setting terrible examples for young girls the world over.

Which reminds me, Elena on The Vampire Diaries doesn't want to be a vampire. After the disastrous Early Evening Sparkly thing (you know) it's refreshing to see a girl in love with a vampire that doesn't want to be with him for all eternity. Just until she dies. Which is still a little... ya know. Something.

Things I Do When I Should Be Writing... Or Having a Life

So when I find something I like, I get hooked on it. If it's a TV show, I watch all the old seasons until I'm totally caught up and then wait impatiently for new episodes. (My newest obsessions are Supernatural and The Vampire Diaries, both CW shows. Almost like they make good shows?) If it's an author, I have to read everything they've ever written. I decide I love dresses, so I spend literally hours perusing the internet and bookmarking sites like I'll actually purchase these dresses at some point.

Which is crazy because some of them are like, $50 or more. I sincerely cannot imagine spending $75 on a dress that isn't even for a wedding or something. But I want to. Cause they look so pretty and then I fantasize about wearing them out places and people complimenting me on my lovely dress and shoes... That sounds super sad.

Anyway right now, my current kick is nail polish. I have an entire wishlist dedicated to nail polish. It's called Make-Up but it's really just nail polish. Like, over 60 bottles of it. I want them all. Nail polish though, unlike the super expensive dresses, I'll actually use. I love nail polish. I don't really wear make-up, it's a personal choice (also cause my face is super sensitive and freaks out with most products) but I do love painting my nails. So head's up family and friends wanting to buy me presents: go to Amazon and search for my wishlist under my sbc email.

Drunken Conversations with My Husband

('You Make My Dreams Come True' by Hall and Oates comes on the radio)

Me: Oh I love this song!

Jeremy: (after a moment) Whenever I hear this song, I always think of the Ducktales theme song.

Me: No! I do too! I am so glad I married you! Cause I have always thought that, and you do too, and we have so many things in common.

Jeremy: Yeah I love you too. (under his breath, I'm sure) Crazy drunk.