Wednesday, June 8, 2011
This one goes out to the ladies
i'm posting this from my phone so punctuation just went out the window. this keypad looks a lot bigger than i remember it being. the buttons are like the size of my pinky nail, which isn't really that big but it's still quite large.
anyway, things that i've been up to:
had measurements taken for my dress
went on a mini family vacation (mini because it was both a weekend trip and half the family wasn't able to go)
saw my cousin get high, offer it to everyone (it was totally adorable), get the giggles in like a minute, then pass out like it was her job not even thirty minutes later
remembered why i love my brothers wife (i don't call her sister-in-law because i don't ever want people to think i mean jeremy's sister)
writing a cult classic about a girl who hears voices in the water and connects to her long dead family through them with the help of her cousin... that one's probably not going to happen. it sounds stupid. but i have been fairly diligently writing.
oh, i also had someone show interest in a coffee cup i designed on etsy and that seemed promising except thwy live in europe. and it would cost a crap ton to ship it there. i would lose money and i'm not ready to lose money when i haven't even made money yet.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
I Bought To Much Fabric
I am now halfway to my goal weight. And I might actually get there before the wedding. But I feel happy where I am, which is much different from how I felt when I wasn't, so if I don't get there by July it's not a big deal. I'll still keep working out and eating right because it makes me feel better physically, and when I feel good physically I feel good mentally, and vice versa. Jeremy is also halfway to his goal, but he has a longer way to go than me once we get back from the honeymoon, cause he claims that he started out fifty pounds overweight, which I don't buy but then he showed me the jeans he had when we met that fit perfectly and they do look very small. Compared to him at least. He's a big dude to begin with though, and he's probably not going to get back down to that completely because of the muscle mass from karate and P90. And I don't see anything wrong with that.
I bought material for my wedding dress last week, twice. The first time, I thought I had found the perfect color and I bought four yards of it, (cause that's how much we need) and then I thought about it over the next three days. And I decided I didn't want that color. So I went out yesterday and found another color in the same area, but darker. And then I found the perfect accent color to go with the darker color. And I bought four yards of the dark. If I change my mind again, I'm just getting married in shorts and a T-shirt. (I should note that I bought both colors on sale so it wasn't a big loss or anything.)
I do think I made the right call in getting the new color though. It's very subdued and mellow and understated, which I feel is more appropriate for me and my personality, and for how I hope the wedding in general will be. But I do still love the first color I bought and I was thinking, how pretentious would it be to have two wedding dresses?
I'm sure I could find something to do with the first color but still, I'm almost a little irritated with myself that I didn't think of it before. I think it's because when I first looked at the color my mom said it looked to autumn-y and I wasn't sure if I agreed with her or not but she said she loved how the brighter one looked against my skin and I agreed because I like bright things. But then we saw the dark against me and I loved it. I also picked up the accent color, and then completely forgot to get thread for both colors.
And no, I'm not making the dress. First, because I don't even own a sewing machine (nor do I know how to operate one), and second, because I was told it's bad luck to make your own dress.
I did ask someone to be my witness though, because I really want her at my wedding but it's just parents and siblings so I needed a way for her to be there without having to hear about it from either side of the family. I've gotten enough grief on the guest front. We told his parents we only wanted thirty guests and that the reception would be a month after the ceremony and his dad was all snippy and "well if it's only thirty people why don't we just have it on the same day?" Um, because future-father-in-law, that's what we decided on. Also because I finally just let mom plan everything and she decided on that arrangement. And I don't honestly care.
I'm also trying to figure out a polite way to tell Jeremy's sister that she can't bring her kids. We found out that if you tell her it's an adults only service, she'll still bring the little demon spawns. She did it last year at a cousins wedding and we were baffled by her audacity. How can you completely disregard someone's wishes, and especially on their wedding day? I don't want them crying about the dogs, or not being able to go swimming, or worse interrupting the service to whine loudly about something that nobody fucking cares about. You're hot? Shut the fuck up, no one's interested. Did Noah hit you? Seriously, shut the fuck up. Do you want to get in the pool? Cause I will drown your rude, inconsiderate little self. These kids are ten, or possibly nine, but at any rate they're old enough to be polite and have manners and sit quietly for ten goddamn minutes while we agree to love to each other for better or for worse and blah blah blah.
I should probably just let Jeremy talk to her.
I bought material for my wedding dress last week, twice. The first time, I thought I had found the perfect color and I bought four yards of it, (cause that's how much we need) and then I thought about it over the next three days. And I decided I didn't want that color. So I went out yesterday and found another color in the same area, but darker. And then I found the perfect accent color to go with the darker color. And I bought four yards of the dark. If I change my mind again, I'm just getting married in shorts and a T-shirt. (I should note that I bought both colors on sale so it wasn't a big loss or anything.)
I do think I made the right call in getting the new color though. It's very subdued and mellow and understated, which I feel is more appropriate for me and my personality, and for how I hope the wedding in general will be. But I do still love the first color I bought and I was thinking, how pretentious would it be to have two wedding dresses?
I'm sure I could find something to do with the first color but still, I'm almost a little irritated with myself that I didn't think of it before. I think it's because when I first looked at the color my mom said it looked to autumn-y and I wasn't sure if I agreed with her or not but she said she loved how the brighter one looked against my skin and I agreed because I like bright things. But then we saw the dark against me and I loved it. I also picked up the accent color, and then completely forgot to get thread for both colors.
And no, I'm not making the dress. First, because I don't even own a sewing machine (nor do I know how to operate one), and second, because I was told it's bad luck to make your own dress.
I did ask someone to be my witness though, because I really want her at my wedding but it's just parents and siblings so I needed a way for her to be there without having to hear about it from either side of the family. I've gotten enough grief on the guest front. We told his parents we only wanted thirty guests and that the reception would be a month after the ceremony and his dad was all snippy and "well if it's only thirty people why don't we just have it on the same day?" Um, because future-father-in-law, that's what we decided on. Also because I finally just let mom plan everything and she decided on that arrangement. And I don't honestly care.
I'm also trying to figure out a polite way to tell Jeremy's sister that she can't bring her kids. We found out that if you tell her it's an adults only service, she'll still bring the little demon spawns. She did it last year at a cousins wedding and we were baffled by her audacity. How can you completely disregard someone's wishes, and especially on their wedding day? I don't want them crying about the dogs, or not being able to go swimming, or worse interrupting the service to whine loudly about something that nobody fucking cares about. You're hot? Shut the fuck up, no one's interested. Did Noah hit you? Seriously, shut the fuck up. Do you want to get in the pool? Cause I will drown your rude, inconsiderate little self. These kids are ten, or possibly nine, but at any rate they're old enough to be polite and have manners and sit quietly for ten goddamn minutes while we agree to love to each other for better or for worse and blah blah blah.
I should probably just let Jeremy talk to her.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Stuff and Such
So far both Jeremy and I have lost over ten pounds each. Of course he's been doing this for a shorter time than I have but I expected him to lose weight quicker. Doesn't mean I'm not a little ticked about it though. We also started doing P90 five to six days a week. I friggin' love it.
When I started doing yoga I did it because I kept hearing how it's supposed to make you feel better physically and mentally. It's supposed to center you and all this other crap. Except I never got that. I just felt incredibly drained and like I could nap for a day. After the P90 though, even during, I feel really good. I feel like I'm making healthy progress towards my weight loss goal and I feel really energized and happy. Yoga always made me feel like I had just died, and P90 makes me feel like I could live forever, is basically what I'm getting at. Although really, who wants to live forever?
In other news, I've stopped procrastinating and have started work on my masks again as well as writing a few short stories. I've also gone back to what I like to call "Essays That Will Never See the Light of Day" and that subject is self-explanatory. I think a lot of this new energy is the change in weather, which isn't surprising. I always sleep less in the spring and summer than the fall and winter. If the sun is up longer I usually am as well. I think that's the mammal instinct of hibernating, except I can't actually hibernate in the modern age so I just get lethargic. It sucks, but then the snow melts.
When I started doing yoga I did it because I kept hearing how it's supposed to make you feel better physically and mentally. It's supposed to center you and all this other crap. Except I never got that. I just felt incredibly drained and like I could nap for a day. After the P90 though, even during, I feel really good. I feel like I'm making healthy progress towards my weight loss goal and I feel really energized and happy. Yoga always made me feel like I had just died, and P90 makes me feel like I could live forever, is basically what I'm getting at. Although really, who wants to live forever?
In other news, I've stopped procrastinating and have started work on my masks again as well as writing a few short stories. I've also gone back to what I like to call "Essays That Will Never See the Light of Day" and that subject is self-explanatory. I think a lot of this new energy is the change in weather, which isn't surprising. I always sleep less in the spring and summer than the fall and winter. If the sun is up longer I usually am as well. I think that's the mammal instinct of hibernating, except I can't actually hibernate in the modern age so I just get lethargic. It sucks, but then the snow melts.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Radical (Random) Honesty
1. When I was seventeen I had a huge crush on this kid with a famous physicists name (think apples) and I was so nervous to talk to him that I actually wrote a note to him. It asked what his full name was. No joke. That's all it was. And I handed it to him. Not even like, discreetly slid it across the table to him in class or anything. I waited until we were leaving and I left ahead of him, about to bitch out, and then I turned back and nearly knocked him over, and handed him the note. And then quickly vacated. I felt like such a loser. The next time we had class he sat next to me and told me his full name and nothing ever happened cause I'm stupid-shy and we pretty much talked via notes in class. I'm kinda friends with him now. Almost seven years later.
2. Sometimes when I lie to one person about something, doesn't matter what it is, I'll retell that lie to someone else even if that person has nothing to do with the lie, just to propagate it. In the highly unlikely eventuality that it will come up in conversation at some future date. As I'm doing it I will occasionally think to myself how utterly ridiculous the whole thing is.
3. I listen to crappy music. I also listen to really good music, but I pretty much only tell people about the crappy music. I have no idea why. Probably so that if they ever happen to see the music on my phone, or in my iTunes library, they'll be like, 'her musical tastes aren't THAT bad... this is actually a very broad selection. Is that album called 'World Lounge?' How cultured and open-minded of her.'
4. Over the course of say, an eight hour day, I am sucking my stomach in for at least 7.5 of those hours. The sad thing is that I'm probably not as chubby as I feel I look, but I refuse to just let my gut hang out so people can ask me if it's a boy or a girl, or when I'm due. I once had an old friend tell me she was asked that when she wasn't pregnant and I swore to myself that I would never let myself get to that point with my body. And then I got into a really good relationship and developed a 'love-chub' (a gut, not an erection) and hated myself for months. I avoided my own reflection. Sad true story.
5. I am the vainest, most conceited, most self-destructive person I know. I know I just said that I avoided my own reflection but I totally looked at (and still do) myself every time I pass a reflective surface. I focus on my face, or my hips, or how my thighs look in these jeans. If I'm passing a reflective surface, I'll glance back behind me as if something interesting is going on just where I passed to check out my own ass. If I'm approaching a surface, mirror in a store, front door of a store, shiny car, I'll check out my own walk. And then make fun of my own jeans and how they come down over the tops of my shoes. Or if I see my face, I'll make hateful comments about my acne or how frizzy my hair is. In my head though.
6. When people accidentally touch me, it makes me want to punch them in the throat. I hate it. What the hell are you doing so close to me anyway?
7. I have this weird habit of watching something, or reading something, and then imagining that a person from that thing is actually in the room with me. So sometimes when I talk to myself, which is a lot when I'm writing...or in general, I'll be talking to them. Which I'm positive is a form of mental illness and completely unhealthy and fucking crazy. I have done this for as long as I can remember. And I am amazed that no one has caught on yet.
2. Sometimes when I lie to one person about something, doesn't matter what it is, I'll retell that lie to someone else even if that person has nothing to do with the lie, just to propagate it. In the highly unlikely eventuality that it will come up in conversation at some future date. As I'm doing it I will occasionally think to myself how utterly ridiculous the whole thing is.
3. I listen to crappy music. I also listen to really good music, but I pretty much only tell people about the crappy music. I have no idea why. Probably so that if they ever happen to see the music on my phone, or in my iTunes library, they'll be like, 'her musical tastes aren't THAT bad... this is actually a very broad selection. Is that album called 'World Lounge?' How cultured and open-minded of her.'
4. Over the course of say, an eight hour day, I am sucking my stomach in for at least 7.5 of those hours. The sad thing is that I'm probably not as chubby as I feel I look, but I refuse to just let my gut hang out so people can ask me if it's a boy or a girl, or when I'm due. I once had an old friend tell me she was asked that when she wasn't pregnant and I swore to myself that I would never let myself get to that point with my body. And then I got into a really good relationship and developed a 'love-chub' (a gut, not an erection) and hated myself for months. I avoided my own reflection. Sad true story.
5. I am the vainest, most conceited, most self-destructive person I know. I know I just said that I avoided my own reflection but I totally looked at (and still do) myself every time I pass a reflective surface. I focus on my face, or my hips, or how my thighs look in these jeans. If I'm passing a reflective surface, I'll glance back behind me as if something interesting is going on just where I passed to check out my own ass. If I'm approaching a surface, mirror in a store, front door of a store, shiny car, I'll check out my own walk. And then make fun of my own jeans and how they come down over the tops of my shoes. Or if I see my face, I'll make hateful comments about my acne or how frizzy my hair is. In my head though.
6. When people accidentally touch me, it makes me want to punch them in the throat. I hate it. What the hell are you doing so close to me anyway?
7. I have this weird habit of watching something, or reading something, and then imagining that a person from that thing is actually in the room with me. So sometimes when I talk to myself, which is a lot when I'm writing...or in general, I'll be talking to them. Which I'm positive is a form of mental illness and completely unhealthy and fucking crazy. I have done this for as long as I can remember. And I am amazed that no one has caught on yet.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Real Quick
Just a note to say that I have successfully lost twelve pounds since January. 18 to go. Bring it honeymoon.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
More Diet News
So Jeremy finally decided he wants to lose weight for the wedding. Approximately four months after we said we would diet and exercise together and be each others support and blah blah blah. So for four months I've been struggling to keep off the mere six-ish pounds I've managed to lose, and of course every time I get there some frickin' holiday comes up and his family seems to eat only potatoes and corn, with occasional meat as a side dish, so I gain it back. Which is why I finally decided to diet instead of just eating better and working out. And I've lost and kept off (for the past three weeks at least) eight pounds. All with him still eating the crap he usually eats and us going to the resteraunts we normally go to and me trying to find something to eat while his friends stare on curiously. Thanks for making me feel like a freakshow for trying to better myself guys.
Anyway, he decided he wants a tablet. Hasn't decided what brand yet but he knows he wants one and they aren't the cheapest toys. So he plans to lose thirty pounds (yes, we both gained about thirty pounds since we started dating over two years ago) before our wedding, and in return he gets a tablet. (!)
Wtf? And what do I get? A more defined sense of self-worth? A smaller dress size? To look drop dead gorgeous in our wedding photos? That's great but how about as well as that, you afford me a new apartment, husband.
Anyway, he decided he wants a tablet. Hasn't decided what brand yet but he knows he wants one and they aren't the cheapest toys. So he plans to lose thirty pounds (yes, we both gained about thirty pounds since we started dating over two years ago) before our wedding, and in return he gets a tablet. (!)
Wtf? And what do I get? A more defined sense of self-worth? A smaller dress size? To look drop dead gorgeous in our wedding photos? That's great but how about as well as that, you afford me a new apartment, husband.
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